Friday, February 27, 2009

Gossip

Some days this Proverb to Ponder will be harder than others. Picking just one, that is...

I think I'll go with 26:22

The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to man's inmost points.

I've been pondering gossip for awhile. A few months ago I started thinking about it a lot, and discussing it with a good friend. I have some thoughts, but would love to have your input.

What constitutes gossip? I don't think it's as simple as "talking about other people". My friend got married. I talk about it. My other friend has a sick baby, and I talk about that too. I don't consider either of these gossiping.

So far, I think the biggest elements are motive and content. Why are you sharing what you are sharing? I'm sure we've all experienced that feeling of really wanting to share information that isn't ours to share. The whole choice morsels business... Maybe whatever we want to share isn't scandalous and maybe it's totally appropriate to share. But what is the motive? Do we come from a place of pride, judgement or trying to make ourselves feel better?


What do you think constitutes gossip? How do you guard your heart and mind against this? I once heard someone talk about their policy where gossip was concerned. I love it and have adopted it as my own.

1. I will not gossip.
2. I will not be gossiped to.
3. I hope to not be gossiped about.

I'd love your input! Do share!!
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1 comment:

~jen~ said...

ohhh a subject farrrr too close to my heart for me to even begin typing about on here...had some experiences with this the past year...learned a lot and ran far, far away from it.

Anyway, something to consider...sometimes people's intent might still be "good"...but in effect they are still gossiping. For example...say you ask your small group to pray for someone and their circumstances (whatever they may be)...your intent is good...to ask for prayer because you are concerned for someone...however, maybe that person didn't want anyone else knowing about their circumstances (or even knowing there were circumstances to be discussed!). So you essentially "spread" a little seed (that could develop into a rumor, and henceforth into some speculating gossip)...you see where this is going.

A friend of mine had this happen to her...and it hurt her GREATLY. Whoever did it didn't "start it" with any bad intentions whatsoever...they really just wanted to help. But it wasn't her business to be "spreading" and "asking help for", if you know what I mean.

I've had a few people come back to me and say they were "aware of our situation" because a previous friend of ours had asked them to pray for us. I am flattered that someone wanted to pray for me...but at the same time, now I'm finding out all the people who "are aware" of our past situation and it's a little unnerving. I don't know what ALL they are aware of...but that's MY business ya know? If I didn't tell ya, then you shouldn't know. That's just how I feel about it.

You mentioned you wouldn't mind talking about your friend's sick child...but change that up a little bit...and what if it was your friend who was sick...but say the "sickness" wasn't something she wanted shared. Maybe she never clarified to you that it was very personal or she felt it that way (say she had cancer and she didn't want people to know for whatever reason)...and you really wanted prayer for her to help cure this cancer. There's just a fine line that you have to watch because some people are easily offended when their business is shared.

Okay I SAID I wasn't going to get started...LOL...but I had to put that little blurb out there. *sigh* But girl, know that I didn't "get started"...gossip fires me up!

February 28, 2009 at 8:26 AM

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