Let me start by saying that I believe that worship is a way of life. I'm still working on making it my way of life... The word 'worship' seems to be most commonly associated with music and singing songs of worship, and that's what I'm talking about today.
My weekend was hijacked by a twenty pound terrorist. Okay, not really. Chloe was sick. I suppose she had a touch of the flu. Not a major case, though when she had a flare up - it wasn't pretty, and she didn't like it one bit. Poor little punkin. So, my much anticipated trip to Indy, to see two beautiful people vow to love each other forever, in Jesus name? Yeah - that was off. I can't believe I didn't cry. I wanted to cry. I wanted to wail like a 5 year old who couldn't get a candy bar at the check out. But I didn't.
Instead, I put my sweats on and slept when Chloe slept, which turned out to be quite a bit. I was able to get caught up and that felt really good. I went to church by myself on Sunday, and on the way - I was listening to a worship playlist that I made quite a while back. I didn't even realize it until that morning, but I really really miss driving to work and worshipping loud and long and probably a little off key. I had always had at least an hour in the car every day, some times two. Granted, I did spend some of that time putting my guardian angel to the test, yapping on the phone - but on my way to work - I always spent that time with the Lord. And I miss it.
I was primed and ready and had already shed a tear or two when I got to church Sunday morning. Now, I know worship is for God and not for me, but evidently no one told Pastor Ben that, because it seemed to be all for me. ;) In all seriousness though, I feel like I was able to worship in a way that I haven't in a really really really long time. I'm thankful that things have been a little icky lately. I actually love getting to that point where I literally break during worship. There is something about the Land that is Plentiful that just doesn't produce a need to empty myself before the Lord. Maybe that's backward thinking, but it's just the way it is with me.
We've been in a new church for about six months, and before that it was probably close to a year since we had been attending Kensington regularly. As much as I LOVE our new church, the biggest part of me still longs for home. I miss Danny. I miss Steve Andrews. I just miss Kensington. I don't really know why. Maybe just because I am the original creature of habit? Who knows. Anyway - my point is - things are very different at the new place and I guess I've been slow to really sink in, get comfortable and let go. Well, if I'm being honest, I never really "let go" at Kensington, either.
I suppose I need to back the bus up a bit. I know where this all started. In a pew. In an old school, triple Baptist - stand perfectly still and sing from your hymnal, while wearing only a DRESS, church. Yes. I went to that church. Neat, huh? So the first time that I walked into Kensington, and they were playing Highway to the Danger Zone from Top Gun? Yeah, that was a little weird. But I loved Tom Cruise (at least I did before he flipped his lid) so I went with it. The first time I went to a worship service and saw people raising their hands? Yeah - I thought they were on crack. I mean seriously, where are the hymnals? Maybe that's the only reason we didn't raise our hands at my church... Because we had our hands full...
Obviously, it has been a long road and a very slow process getting to a point where I can worship with total abandon. In fact, such a slow process that I still haven't reached that point. I want to - and I suppose I'm getting there. Sunday, I moved another quarter of an inch toward the goal. Instead of lowering my head and going into the ugly cry, once the tears started flowing, I looked up -or at least kept my head up - and sang even louder through the sobbing. It must have been a sight. I'm very sorry Mr. Guy-Who-Made-The-Mistake-Of-Sitting-In-Front-Of-Me.
The goal? To become "even more undignified than this." I'm on it.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
The Potter and the Clay
I have lots of thoughts. I hope I can coherently string them together to form a meaningful blogpost. I guess we'll see...
LOSING THINGS
I've been losing things a lot lately. It's really getting on my nerves. In the past two years, I've lost a few *major* things, that have absolutely boggled my mind. If I could have the energy back that I've spent agonizing over these things, I could probably run a marathon. Or birth another baby. I've seriously scratched my head a lot over these ones.
The first thing is this super cute Bible. I had it when I taught at Northwestern, and now I don't. I must have left it there. I hope Mr. Whoever taught in room 217 after me either got saved or at least found sanity when he needed it most with that Bible. Hopefully he wasn't too uber manly. If so, he probably refused to read my pink and green SUPER CUTE Bible. sigh. It wasn't my main Bible, it was one of my spares that I left at school, in the event I forgot my main Bible. I wouldn't last 15 minutes in that place without my Sword of the Spirit. Seriously.
The second thing was my copy of Waking the Dead by John Eldredge. It is a fantastic book on spiritual warfare, and I underlined half of the book when reading it both times. I wanted to read it again, and couldn't find it. I have racked my brain, turned this place upside down more than once and have gotten real angry on many occasions. I finally bought it again. I'm still bitter, though. I want MY copy. Where is it????? ugh. Maybe it's with my Bible? I really don't think so, but for all I know - it could be in the Library of Congress. All I know is, it ain't here. sigh.
The next item was actually found, which gives me hope. But it still warrants mentioning, as it was gone a long time and I spent A LOT of time searching for it. The power cord to my breast pump. Can you say Muy Importante? That's spanish for Do Not Lose. The coolest thing is that it was in the bag that houses the pump the whole time. How I searched inside that bag 10 times and never found it, I'll never understand, but again. Hope.
I also lost my bite guard. You know, the 300$ piece of plastic that you sleep in to protect the 300$ crown that you had replaced, so you don't grind it out of your head, AGAIN? Yeah - that one. Anyone seen it? Triple GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. This is a stumper. I don't understand where on this Earth that thing could be. What I do know is - we are likely to be out another 300$ one way or the other and that just frosts my fanny. UGH!
Now. Are you ready? The granddaddy of them all. I may start crying uncontrollably, again. I seem to have lost my..... Wedding Ring. ::deepest of deep sighs:: I've looked high. I've looked low. I've looked everywhere. Although, Frank says I can't have looked everywhere, because I haven't looked where it actually is. Cute, right? I'm just glad he isn't mad at me. I don't need that right now. I don't know where it is, and I am absolutely DEVASTATED. I'm not one of those ladies who wants a new ring every 10 years. It's our 10th Anniversary this summer, so if I were that girl (not that there's anything at all wrong with that girl) then I'd be set. But I'm not. My ring is insured, since we got married young and spent way way too much on a wedding ring, because at that time in my life - that was important to me. I could get it replaced right now, if I wanted "a new ring". But I don't. I want my ring. I want the ring that was at my wedding. Not a new, bigger better different one, not a new replica. I don't know what to do, and I'm still praying that I find it. I'm scared to ask God about it, for fear of Him telling me it's gone. I'm not ready to know that, yet. So, I will be digging through the trash. And probably crying some more.
What I do know is there is always a lesson. I know First John 2:15 says, Do not love the world or anything in the world. I know that Matthew 6:19-21 says, Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
I was thinking about these verses the other night. I was thinking about being a work in progress. I was thinking how I've come a really really long way, and how I have a really really really long way to go. I was thinking about the Potter and the clay.
Isaiah 64:8 O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.
Romans 9:21 Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?
Think about Pottery 1o1, which I've not taken, but humor me. I'm guessing you don't make a masterpiece on your first try, right? Think ashtrays. I feel like, in the Potter's hand, I'm an ashtray. He wants to fashion me into something much more beautiful and much much more useful. I don't mean to imply that God is a novice at pottery. I know the analogy doesn't quite work, but frankly, it was a bit of a revelation - so I guess, take it up with the Potter. ;) As the clay, I have to be willing to be molded. It's my fault that I'm still only an ashtray. My purpose is not a noble one, but it could be. If I'm willing to be molded and if I can stand the heat in the kiln. It's not pleasant, but what I know for sure is - I desire to be a beautiful vase, used to display God's glory and beauty to any and all who pass by. For that, I will endure the fire of God's refining.
LOSING THINGS
I've been losing things a lot lately. It's really getting on my nerves. In the past two years, I've lost a few *major* things, that have absolutely boggled my mind. If I could have the energy back that I've spent agonizing over these things, I could probably run a marathon. Or birth another baby. I've seriously scratched my head a lot over these ones.
The first thing is this super cute Bible. I had it when I taught at Northwestern, and now I don't. I must have left it there. I hope Mr. Whoever taught in room 217 after me either got saved or at least found sanity when he needed it most with that Bible. Hopefully he wasn't too uber manly. If so, he probably refused to read my pink and green SUPER CUTE Bible. sigh. It wasn't my main Bible, it was one of my spares that I left at school, in the event I forgot my main Bible. I wouldn't last 15 minutes in that place without my Sword of the Spirit. Seriously.
The second thing was my copy of Waking the Dead by John Eldredge. It is a fantastic book on spiritual warfare, and I underlined half of the book when reading it both times. I wanted to read it again, and couldn't find it. I have racked my brain, turned this place upside down more than once and have gotten real angry on many occasions. I finally bought it again. I'm still bitter, though. I want MY copy. Where is it????? ugh. Maybe it's with my Bible? I really don't think so, but for all I know - it could be in the Library of Congress. All I know is, it ain't here. sigh.
The next item was actually found, which gives me hope. But it still warrants mentioning, as it was gone a long time and I spent A LOT of time searching for it. The power cord to my breast pump. Can you say Muy Importante? That's spanish for Do Not Lose. The coolest thing is that it was in the bag that houses the pump the whole time. How I searched inside that bag 10 times and never found it, I'll never understand, but again. Hope.
I also lost my bite guard. You know, the 300$ piece of plastic that you sleep in to protect the 300$ crown that you had replaced, so you don't grind it out of your head, AGAIN? Yeah - that one. Anyone seen it? Triple GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. This is a stumper. I don't understand where on this Earth that thing could be. What I do know is - we are likely to be out another 300$ one way or the other and that just frosts my fanny. UGH!
Now. Are you ready? The granddaddy of them all. I may start crying uncontrollably, again. I seem to have lost my..... Wedding Ring. ::deepest of deep sighs:: I've looked high. I've looked low. I've looked everywhere. Although, Frank says I can't have looked everywhere, because I haven't looked where it actually is. Cute, right? I'm just glad he isn't mad at me. I don't need that right now. I don't know where it is, and I am absolutely DEVASTATED. I'm not one of those ladies who wants a new ring every 10 years. It's our 10th Anniversary this summer, so if I were that girl (not that there's anything at all wrong with that girl) then I'd be set. But I'm not. My ring is insured, since we got married young and spent way way too much on a wedding ring, because at that time in my life - that was important to me. I could get it replaced right now, if I wanted "a new ring". But I don't. I want my ring. I want the ring that was at my wedding. Not a new, bigger better different one, not a new replica. I don't know what to do, and I'm still praying that I find it. I'm scared to ask God about it, for fear of Him telling me it's gone. I'm not ready to know that, yet. So, I will be digging through the trash. And probably crying some more.
What I do know is there is always a lesson. I know First John 2:15 says, Do not love the world or anything in the world. I know that Matthew 6:19-21 says, Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
I was thinking about these verses the other night. I was thinking about being a work in progress. I was thinking how I've come a really really long way, and how I have a really really really long way to go. I was thinking about the Potter and the clay.
Isaiah 64:8 O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.
Romans 9:21 Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?
Think about Pottery 1o1, which I've not taken, but humor me. I'm guessing you don't make a masterpiece on your first try, right? Think ashtrays. I feel like, in the Potter's hand, I'm an ashtray. He wants to fashion me into something much more beautiful and much much more useful. I don't mean to imply that God is a novice at pottery. I know the analogy doesn't quite work, but frankly, it was a bit of a revelation - so I guess, take it up with the Potter. ;) As the clay, I have to be willing to be molded. It's my fault that I'm still only an ashtray. My purpose is not a noble one, but it could be. If I'm willing to be molded and if I can stand the heat in the kiln. It's not pleasant, but what I know for sure is - I desire to be a beautiful vase, used to display God's glory and beauty to any and all who pass by. For that, I will endure the fire of God's refining.
Monday, December 29, 2008
One of the lovely ways God convicts me...
Prepare yourself. Truth, coming at ya. ::Sigh::
I've had an ever building revelation over the past year or so. It's not pretty and I wouldn't mind if Will Smith came with his little flashy thing from Men in Black and erased it.
I've noticed that things that irritate me about other people, I do. It started out with my mom. I actually knew that one a long time ago. The whole, too much alike, that's why we get on each other's nerves and why it is a physical impossibility for us to live in the same dwelling.
Over the past year or so, I've noticed that it really irritates me when people ramble on about nothing. hmmm... Yeah, I tend to do that. It irritates me when people are harsh. Yeah... Probably because of copyright infringement. I WROTE THE BOOK ON HARSH. ::deep breath, followed by very slow exhale.....:: These are just a couple of the *cute* examples.
Transformation is a slow process.
This whole business starts with pride. I used to be in an AMAZING small group Bible study. A group of women that studied and wrestled with Scripture, poured their heart and souls out to each other and prayed for and with each other. It was beautiful. I bring that up to say, there were times when we'd be sharing prayer requests, and I couldn't think of anything that I needed prayer for that day. Nothing major that God wanted to change in me, I had it all together, pretty impressed with myself. I was one of those people who, when I heard a sermon, I'd think: Wow, what a shame that so and so isn't here to hear this. Pride, much? Yep. Ugh.
See? I force God's hand ALL THE TIME! Oh really, He says? Can't see it? I'll help you. You're so good at seeing other people's short comings... As He reaches into His bag of tricks and extracts His handy dandy scalpel of self-righteous bull. ::another deep deep sigh::
So that's where I've been for awhile. Observing ugliness in other people, realizing I have the same ugly ugly tendencies, and then begging God to change my heart. It's working, but it's a very very slow process.
People are so incredibly messy. It's a lot easier to just hide and avoid them. If there was a place I could hide from myself, I'd be at the post office right now, changing my address.
Instead, I'm embracing Nathan. Remember the prophet from 2 Samuel 12? He tells King David a little story about a man who stole and killed a little ewe lamb. King David burns with anger and then Nathan says, YOU are the man! And not in the modern day way that means, you're super cool... In the way that means, uh - hello? You stole a man's wife and then killed him so you wouldn't be found out, and you're fired up about a guy who steals a lamb and kills it? Doofus!
I'm not sure if God deals with you in the same way He deals with me, but if He does... Be aware of the messy people in your life. They may be God's way of holding up a mirror and saying - You are the man...
I've had an ever building revelation over the past year or so. It's not pretty and I wouldn't mind if Will Smith came with his little flashy thing from Men in Black and erased it.
I've noticed that things that irritate me about other people, I do. It started out with my mom. I actually knew that one a long time ago. The whole, too much alike, that's why we get on each other's nerves and why it is a physical impossibility for us to live in the same dwelling.
Over the past year or so, I've noticed that it really irritates me when people ramble on about nothing. hmmm... Yeah, I tend to do that. It irritates me when people are harsh. Yeah... Probably because of copyright infringement. I WROTE THE BOOK ON HARSH. ::deep breath, followed by very slow exhale.....:: These are just a couple of the *cute* examples.
Transformation is a slow process.
This whole business starts with pride. I used to be in an AMAZING small group Bible study. A group of women that studied and wrestled with Scripture, poured their heart and souls out to each other and prayed for and with each other. It was beautiful. I bring that up to say, there were times when we'd be sharing prayer requests, and I couldn't think of anything that I needed prayer for that day. Nothing major that God wanted to change in me, I had it all together, pretty impressed with myself. I was one of those people who, when I heard a sermon, I'd think: Wow, what a shame that so and so isn't here to hear this. Pride, much? Yep. Ugh.
See? I force God's hand ALL THE TIME! Oh really, He says? Can't see it? I'll help you. You're so good at seeing other people's short comings... As He reaches into His bag of tricks and extracts His handy dandy scalpel of self-righteous bull. ::another deep deep sigh::
So that's where I've been for awhile. Observing ugliness in other people, realizing I have the same ugly ugly tendencies, and then begging God to change my heart. It's working, but it's a very very slow process.
People are so incredibly messy. It's a lot easier to just hide and avoid them. If there was a place I could hide from myself, I'd be at the post office right now, changing my address.
Instead, I'm embracing Nathan. Remember the prophet from 2 Samuel 12? He tells King David a little story about a man who stole and killed a little ewe lamb. King David burns with anger and then Nathan says, YOU are the man! And not in the modern day way that means, you're super cool... In the way that means, uh - hello? You stole a man's wife and then killed him so you wouldn't be found out, and you're fired up about a guy who steals a lamb and kills it? Doofus!
I'm not sure if God deals with you in the same way He deals with me, but if He does... Be aware of the messy people in your life. They may be God's way of holding up a mirror and saying - You are the man...
Monday, December 22, 2008
Christmas vs. Giftmas
Our pastor said something about Christmas being hikacked. I love it. So so true. We can't afford to participate in giftmas this year, so we are left with Christmas. And I love it. Don't be fooled, if we could be we would be, but I'm thankful that we can't. This is the first year that I haven't run around like all kinds of maniac spending way too much money and way too time little reflecting on what the season is really about. Today, I am honestly praising God for our circumstances. I can't think of another way He could have brought this revelation to me more clearly.
I'm overwhelmed with the gospel this year. I've never thought about Easter so much in December. I'm humbled that my Savior came for me. ::Deep sigh:: I don't even know how to articulate what I'm thinking and feeling...
I've been listening to a lot of Christmas music this year. My absolute favorite is the Selah Rose of Bethlehem CD. I love the lyrics of the song Mystery.
A child was born on Christmas Day
Born to save the world
But long before the world began
He knew His death was sure
The pain and strife secured
Mystery, how He came To be a man
But greater still
How His death was in His plan
God predestined that His Son would die
And He still created man
Oh, what love is this
That His death was in His hands
The Christmas trees
They glow so bright
With presents all around
But Christmas brought A tree of life
With blood that sacrificed
The greatest gift in life
I am just a man and
Can?t begin to comprehend
When You look into this traitor?s eyes
What do You see that justifies the Lamb
God predestined that His Son would die
And He still created man
Oh, what love is this
That His death was in His plan
Mystery, mystery
This CD is amazing. I highly recommend it.
Shane and Shane also have a Christmas CD out this year. It is also fantastic.
Born to Die - Shane Barnard
When the babe was born.
In a manger on the hay.
God saw a veil torn.
He saw Good Friday.
He was born to die.
Gold laid before the Christ.
Incense, His presence is sweet.
Myrrh to signify victory over death's sting.
He was born to die.It came in a dream.
To Joseph late one night.
That Herod sought the King.
But could not take His life.
He was born to die.
He said, "You won't take my life.
You won't take my life.
You won't take my life...I lay it down."
We came here today
to celebrate His birth.
But let us not forget
why Jesus came to earth.
He was born to die.
Merry Christmas, my dear friends.
I'm overwhelmed with the gospel this year. I've never thought about Easter so much in December. I'm humbled that my Savior came for me. ::Deep sigh:: I don't even know how to articulate what I'm thinking and feeling...
I've been listening to a lot of Christmas music this year. My absolute favorite is the Selah Rose of Bethlehem CD. I love the lyrics of the song Mystery.
A child was born on Christmas Day
Born to save the world
But long before the world began
He knew His death was sure
The pain and strife secured
Mystery, how He came To be a man
But greater still
How His death was in His plan
God predestined that His Son would die
And He still created man
Oh, what love is this
That His death was in His hands
The Christmas trees
They glow so bright
With presents all around
But Christmas brought A tree of life
With blood that sacrificed
The greatest gift in life
I am just a man and
Can?t begin to comprehend
When You look into this traitor?s eyes
What do You see that justifies the Lamb
God predestined that His Son would die
And He still created man
Oh, what love is this
That His death was in His plan
Mystery, mystery
This CD is amazing. I highly recommend it.
Shane and Shane also have a Christmas CD out this year. It is also fantastic.
Born to Die - Shane Barnard
When the babe was born.
In a manger on the hay.
God saw a veil torn.
He saw Good Friday.
He was born to die.
Gold laid before the Christ.
Incense, His presence is sweet.
Myrrh to signify victory over death's sting.
He was born to die.It came in a dream.
To Joseph late one night.
That Herod sought the King.
But could not take His life.
He was born to die.
He said, "You won't take my life.
You won't take my life.
You won't take my life...I lay it down."
We came here today
to celebrate His birth.
But let us not forget
why Jesus came to earth.
He was born to die.
Merry Christmas, my dear friends.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Fruit
Fruit, fruit everywhere I turn! It seems God is trying to show me something...
Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. Matthew 3:8 This verse keeps coming up, along with many others that reference fruit.
Let's break it down, word by word, using my trusty friend dictionary.com.
Produce
1. to bring into existence; give rise to; cause: to produce steam.
2. to bring into existence by intellectual or creative ability: to produce a great painting.
3. to make or manufacture: to produce automobiles for export.
4. to bring forth; give birth to; bear: to produce a litter of puppies.
5. to provide, furnish, or supply; yield: a mine producing silver.
Fruit
Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. Matthew 3:8 This verse keeps coming up, along with many others that reference fruit.
Let's break it down, word by word, using my trusty friend dictionary.com.
Produce
1. to bring into existence; give rise to; cause: to produce steam.
2. to bring into existence by intellectual or creative ability: to produce a great painting.
3. to make or manufacture: to produce automobiles for export.
4. to bring forth; give birth to; bear: to produce a litter of puppies.
5. to provide, furnish, or supply; yield: a mine producing silver.
Fruit
1. any product of plant growth useful to humans or animals.
3. the edible part of a plant developed from a flower, with any accessory tissues, as the peach, mulberry, or banana.
5. anything produced or accruing; product, result, or effect; return or profit: the fruits of one's labors.
in keeping with something (from the free dictionary)
1. because of something. There will be no flowers at the funeral, in keeping with the family's wishes.
2. suited to something. The new windows are in keeping with the colonial style of the house.
Repentance
1. deep sorrow, compunction, or contrition for a past sin, wrongdoing, or the like.
2. regret for any past action.
So - bring into existence a product, result or effect that goes along with your deep sorrow and regret for past sin.
That stuff that you used to do, (Ahem, that I used to do - lest I forget that God is speaking to me, and you are just innocent bystanders...) not only quit doing it, but be grieved that you (I) used to do it, and do it no more. AND what you do do (yes, I meant to say do do), make sure it reflects your sorrow over what you (I) used to do. Make sure people see you have been transformed, and not because you raised your hand, repeated after someone, and have since tried to be a better person. No, because you entered into a binding, eternal and covenantal relationship with the creator of the universe and He is making you a new creature in Christ Jesus.
In other words, if we are truly repentant, our present and future actions will not look like our old ones. And not because we are suddenly "better" people, but because we have invited God to live in us and have welcomed His transforming power into our lives. The whole new creation business...
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
Further, if our fruit doesn't look like love, we cannot be claiming to be producing it in Jesus' name. If we are looking to get credit for what we are doing, or doing it in hopes of getting something in return? Nope. Try again. Be ever mindful that our righteousness is as dirty rags to God. Isaiah 64:6 All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.
Philippians 3:9 not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.
Oh yes, the law! One of my favorite things to rant about!
Romans 10:4 Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.
Galatians 2:21I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"
Look out for the pharisees. They are alive and well. You know who I'm talking about. Those people, I like to call them professional pretenders, who appear to be perfect. The key is appearances. It's all about convincing everyone around them that they have it all together and know all the answers. There is a Shane and Shane song that I love that says, "what the law could not do, God did." If we had the power within ourselves to get it right, to be "better", holy, righteous, than Jesus died for nothing.
We mustn't set aside the grace of God. It's by His grace we can do anything. Apart from Him we can do nothing. Apart from Him we are nothing. John 15:5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."
There it is. More fruit. With out a living, breathing, active relationship with the Vine, we got nothing. We can do nothing. We are nothing.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Ask, Seek, Knock...
We've all heard it hundreds of times. "Ask and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you..." Matthew 7:7 This is one I find hard not to quote in the King Jimmy... ;)
I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, (Matt Chandler at the Village Church in the DFW area of Texas) and he was preaching on this passage. He said something so obvious, but only in the way that is noticeable after you've heard it... Then you're like - yep - that's pretty obvious, why didn't I think of it?
We've all got the "ask" part down to a science, right? I mean usually the only thing that's missing is sitting on Santa's lap... I want this, and do this, and bring this to pass, and fix that, and heal this, and stop that, and bring this and provide that, and solve this and get me out of that and on and on it goes.
But what about "seek"? I once heard something else really fantastic while visiting a church with a friend in Chicago. The pastor said, when you seek God, you are guaranteed guidance. When you seek for guidance alone, you may or may not get it. I don't know about you, but I want what God wants. I tried it my way for a lot of years, and it didn't turn out all that red hot... I desire to seek God. Seek His face, seek His heart, seek His will for my life. If God was about just giving us what we want? What a short change! As if we can POSSIBLE know what is best for ourselves... I've often thought of it this way. God is on the mountain and He can see the terrain that lies ahead. We might be in a valley, on level ground or even on a hill, we may even think we can see what lies ahead. But God KNOWS the plans He has for us. Sometimes when He leads us to a certain path or through some sort of struggle, it makes absolutely NO sense at the time. He says, turn. We're like, but but but? It's the wrong way, Lord. Again, He is on the mountain top and knows it's a short cut, even though we can't see how that could possibly be. Or, He knows it's the long way around the maze so we don't get lost and stuck and wander in the wilderness for forty years. Whatever His reasons, His way is the best way, whether we can see that or not. So - if we keep doing what we want, what seems right to us, we are missing the boat. We have got to give God the reigns. Let Him steer. He knows the way. He made the way. His IS the way...
Knock. I sort of had a revelation about the knock part. I think it's about pursuit. We've probably also heard "Behold, I stand at the door and Knock." Revelation 3:19-20 Those words are in red, which tells us - Jesus is standing at the door. Waiting for us to invite Him in. But what would happen if we made it a daily habit of knocking on His door. Hey Jesus, got a second? PS - the answer is always yes....
Do you see what I mean about the obviousness? Ask, seek and knock. Not just ask. Asking is easy. We have to do our part, we will find Him when we seek Him with all of our hearts. It's a tall order... I'm working on it... I'm definitely not there yet. It's a process, and not a fast one. It's not boring either. God always keep you guessing. I love sitting down with Him and just waiting for Him to blow my mind. It's a hobby of His and I love it!
I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, (Matt Chandler at the Village Church in the DFW area of Texas) and he was preaching on this passage. He said something so obvious, but only in the way that is noticeable after you've heard it... Then you're like - yep - that's pretty obvious, why didn't I think of it?
We've all got the "ask" part down to a science, right? I mean usually the only thing that's missing is sitting on Santa's lap... I want this, and do this, and bring this to pass, and fix that, and heal this, and stop that, and bring this and provide that, and solve this and get me out of that and on and on it goes.
But what about "seek"? I once heard something else really fantastic while visiting a church with a friend in Chicago. The pastor said, when you seek God, you are guaranteed guidance. When you seek for guidance alone, you may or may not get it. I don't know about you, but I want what God wants. I tried it my way for a lot of years, and it didn't turn out all that red hot... I desire to seek God. Seek His face, seek His heart, seek His will for my life. If God was about just giving us what we want? What a short change! As if we can POSSIBLE know what is best for ourselves... I've often thought of it this way. God is on the mountain and He can see the terrain that lies ahead. We might be in a valley, on level ground or even on a hill, we may even think we can see what lies ahead. But God KNOWS the plans He has for us. Sometimes when He leads us to a certain path or through some sort of struggle, it makes absolutely NO sense at the time. He says, turn. We're like, but but but? It's the wrong way, Lord. Again, He is on the mountain top and knows it's a short cut, even though we can't see how that could possibly be. Or, He knows it's the long way around the maze so we don't get lost and stuck and wander in the wilderness for forty years. Whatever His reasons, His way is the best way, whether we can see that or not. So - if we keep doing what we want, what seems right to us, we are missing the boat. We have got to give God the reigns. Let Him steer. He knows the way. He made the way. His IS the way...
Knock. I sort of had a revelation about the knock part. I think it's about pursuit. We've probably also heard "Behold, I stand at the door and Knock." Revelation 3:19-20 Those words are in red, which tells us - Jesus is standing at the door. Waiting for us to invite Him in. But what would happen if we made it a daily habit of knocking on His door. Hey Jesus, got a second? PS - the answer is always yes....
Do you see what I mean about the obviousness? Ask, seek and knock. Not just ask. Asking is easy. We have to do our part, we will find Him when we seek Him with all of our hearts. It's a tall order... I'm working on it... I'm definitely not there yet. It's a process, and not a fast one. It's not boring either. God always keep you guessing. I love sitting down with Him and just waiting for Him to blow my mind. It's a hobby of His and I love it!
Friday, November 7, 2008
Surrender
Another huge piece in hearing God's voice is surrender. God's ultimate goal in our lives is to be on the throne.... and He don't share. If ANYTHING else is perched up there, He can't be.
I've noticed that when we hold on to anything too tightly, it separates us from God. It clouds our judgment, it deadens our ability to hear and it certainly impacts our ability to trust what we do hear. When we are ready to truly surrender our lives, agendas and expectations, God says "What's in your hand?" And trust me there is always something in our hand. In my case, and I'm sure I'm not alone here, not only is there something in my hand, but my hand is CLENCHED around it and the thing is covered in super glue. Anyone?
The finger prying process is not a pleasant one.
The other thing I've noticed, not only in my own scenarios, but in many of those of the people closest to me, it's RARELY about the actual thing. Right? It's so much more about the grip we have on the thing. The throne that the thing is on, whether we knew it or not, or put it there intentionally or not. Kind of like when you lose something and joke that it must have grew legs and walked away, except in this case - the thing sprouted legs and strutted itself up onto the throne when you weren't looking. One day you just realize and you're like -what?? How did that get there? ugh.
I digress. Finger prying.
It goes something like this....
Something comes up. I sense it's bigger than what I realize and over time, God begins to show me that we have a problem. Usually someone else says - I think this might be a problem. To which I usually respond in an utterly clueless fashion, quickly followed by self-defense. Then when God confirms it, I'm like, uh-oh. I think you might be right. Then I start to deconstruct it, then I get more confirmation. I'm usually 1)Horrified and disgusted by this ridiculous blind spot, that you would THINK I would start craning my neck around to check occasionally. 2)Totally frustrated by the enemy's unending pursuit. 3)Determined to make it right.
Commence finger prying.
It could be a thing, a situation, an idea or even a relationship. Ultimately, it's anything that we hold onto so tightly. Why do I hold on to it? Or as a good friend always asks me - "What does it give you?" When I realize that it gives me my worth, value and security - I want it out of my hand as much as God does. The sneaky sneaky thing the enemy does, is dupes us into believing that anything other than God determines our worth.
I feel like I'm spider webbing something fierce. Try to stay with me and I'll try to get to the point...
I said earlier, it's rarely about the thing. Time and time again, I've found when I just surrender the thing, God usually lets me keep it. Hardly ever does He set it on fire and through it out the window. It's always about my heart, and His refusal to allow me to settle for a golden statue of whatever.
This was my most recent revelation. It's idolatry. When the thing is more important to me than what God wants to teach me, it's idolatry. When the circumstances are more important to me than the joy that is available to me in plenty and in want, that's idolatry. When I think I have it all figured out, or that it's even up to me to figure it out. Idolatry. When the thought of losing the thing strikes fear in my heart, I have a serious problem with idolatry.
God says, things are fine. But when they are your hope and your security, that is an entirely different issue and one that has to be handled immediately.
He is always after our ultimate good and His ultimate glory. ANYTHING that threatens those, is going down.
When faced with the choice of surrender or idolatry, it's really a no brainer. The important thing to remember, is you can't see your blind spot unless you make a conscious effort to turn and twist around and look over your shoulder. If that was easy, it wouldn't be an issue. Do the hard thing. Be vigilant. Most importantly, be listening. He longs to show us and help us. I can guarantee you if Abraham had decided to take Isaac and hide in a cave, the story would have had a different ending. What will you lay on the alter today?
I've noticed that when we hold on to anything too tightly, it separates us from God. It clouds our judgment, it deadens our ability to hear and it certainly impacts our ability to trust what we do hear. When we are ready to truly surrender our lives, agendas and expectations, God says "What's in your hand?" And trust me there is always something in our hand. In my case, and I'm sure I'm not alone here, not only is there something in my hand, but my hand is CLENCHED around it and the thing is covered in super glue. Anyone?
The finger prying process is not a pleasant one.
The other thing I've noticed, not only in my own scenarios, but in many of those of the people closest to me, it's RARELY about the actual thing. Right? It's so much more about the grip we have on the thing. The throne that the thing is on, whether we knew it or not, or put it there intentionally or not. Kind of like when you lose something and joke that it must have grew legs and walked away, except in this case - the thing sprouted legs and strutted itself up onto the throne when you weren't looking. One day you just realize and you're like -what?? How did that get there? ugh.
I digress. Finger prying.
It goes something like this....
Something comes up. I sense it's bigger than what I realize and over time, God begins to show me that we have a problem. Usually someone else says - I think this might be a problem. To which I usually respond in an utterly clueless fashion, quickly followed by self-defense. Then when God confirms it, I'm like, uh-oh. I think you might be right. Then I start to deconstruct it, then I get more confirmation. I'm usually 1)Horrified and disgusted by this ridiculous blind spot, that you would THINK I would start craning my neck around to check occasionally. 2)Totally frustrated by the enemy's unending pursuit. 3)Determined to make it right.
Commence finger prying.
It could be a thing, a situation, an idea or even a relationship. Ultimately, it's anything that we hold onto so tightly. Why do I hold on to it? Or as a good friend always asks me - "What does it give you?" When I realize that it gives me my worth, value and security - I want it out of my hand as much as God does. The sneaky sneaky thing the enemy does, is dupes us into believing that anything other than God determines our worth.
I feel like I'm spider webbing something fierce. Try to stay with me and I'll try to get to the point...
I said earlier, it's rarely about the thing. Time and time again, I've found when I just surrender the thing, God usually lets me keep it. Hardly ever does He set it on fire and through it out the window. It's always about my heart, and His refusal to allow me to settle for a golden statue of whatever.
This was my most recent revelation. It's idolatry. When the thing is more important to me than what God wants to teach me, it's idolatry. When the circumstances are more important to me than the joy that is available to me in plenty and in want, that's idolatry. When I think I have it all figured out, or that it's even up to me to figure it out. Idolatry. When the thought of losing the thing strikes fear in my heart, I have a serious problem with idolatry.
God says, things are fine. But when they are your hope and your security, that is an entirely different issue and one that has to be handled immediately.
He is always after our ultimate good and His ultimate glory. ANYTHING that threatens those, is going down.
When faced with the choice of surrender or idolatry, it's really a no brainer. The important thing to remember, is you can't see your blind spot unless you make a conscious effort to turn and twist around and look over your shoulder. If that was easy, it wouldn't be an issue. Do the hard thing. Be vigilant. Most importantly, be listening. He longs to show us and help us. I can guarantee you if Abraham had decided to take Isaac and hide in a cave, the story would have had a different ending. What will you lay on the alter today?
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