Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Potter and the Clay

I have lots of thoughts. I hope I can coherently string them together to form a meaningful blogpost. I guess we'll see...

LOSING THINGS

I've been losing things a lot lately. It's really getting on my nerves. In the past two years, I've lost a few *major* things, that have absolutely boggled my mind. If I could have the energy back that I've spent agonizing over these things, I could probably run a marathon. Or birth another baby. I've seriously scratched my head a lot over these ones.

The first thing is this super cute Bible. I had it when I taught at Northwestern, and now I don't. I must have left it there. I hope Mr. Whoever taught in room 217 after me either got saved or at least found sanity when he needed it most with that Bible. Hopefully he wasn't too uber manly. If so, he probably refused to read my pink and green SUPER CUTE Bible. sigh. It wasn't my main Bible, it was one of my spares that I left at school, in the event I forgot my main Bible. I wouldn't last 15 minutes in that place without my Sword of the Spirit. Seriously.

The second thing was my copy of Waking the Dead by John Eldredge. It is a fantastic book on spiritual warfare, and I underlined half of the book when reading it both times. I wanted to read it again, and couldn't find it. I have racked my brain, turned this place upside down more than once and have gotten real angry on many occasions. I finally bought it again. I'm still bitter, though. I want MY copy. Where is it????? ugh. Maybe it's with my Bible? I really don't think so, but for all I know - it could be in the Library of Congress. All I know is, it ain't here. sigh.

The next item was actually found, which gives me hope. But it still warrants mentioning, as it was gone a long time and I spent A LOT of time searching for it. The power cord to my breast pump. Can you say Muy Importante? That's spanish for Do Not Lose. The coolest thing is that it was in the bag that houses the pump the whole time. How I searched inside that bag 10 times and never found it, I'll never understand, but again. Hope.

I also lost my bite guard. You know, the 300$ piece of plastic that you sleep in to protect the 300$ crown that you had replaced, so you don't grind it out of your head, AGAIN? Yeah - that one. Anyone seen it? Triple GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. This is a stumper. I don't understand where on this Earth that thing could be. What I do know is - we are likely to be out another 300$ one way or the other and that just frosts my fanny. UGH!

Now. Are you ready? The granddaddy of them all. I may start crying uncontrollably, again. I seem to have lost my..... Wedding Ring. ::deepest of deep sighs:: I've looked high. I've looked low. I've looked everywhere. Although, Frank says I can't have looked everywhere, because I haven't looked where it actually is. Cute, right? I'm just glad he isn't mad at me. I don't need that right now. I don't know where it is, and I am absolutely DEVASTATED. I'm not one of those ladies who wants a new ring every 10 years. It's our 10th Anniversary this summer, so if I were that girl (not that there's anything at all wrong with that girl) then I'd be set. But I'm not. My ring is insured, since we got married young and spent way way too much on a wedding ring, because at that time in my life - that was important to me. I could get it replaced right now, if I wanted "a new ring". But I don't. I want my ring. I want the ring that was at my wedding. Not a new, bigger better different one, not a new replica. I don't know what to do, and I'm still praying that I find it. I'm scared to ask God about it, for fear of Him telling me it's gone. I'm not ready to know that, yet. So, I will be digging through the trash. And probably crying some more.

What I do know is there is always a lesson. I know First John 2:15 says, Do not love the world or anything in the world. I know that Matthew 6:19-21 says, Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I was thinking about these verses the other night. I was thinking about being a work in progress. I was thinking how I've come a really really long way, and how I have a really really really long way to go. I was thinking about the Potter and the clay.

Isaiah 64:8 O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.

Romans 9:21 Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?

Think about Pottery 1o1, which I've not taken, but humor me. I'm guessing you don't make a masterpiece on your first try, right? Think ashtrays. I feel like, in the Potter's hand, I'm an ashtray. He wants to fashion me into something much more beautiful and much much more useful. I don't mean to imply that God is a novice at pottery. I know the analogy doesn't quite work, but frankly, it was a bit of a revelation - so I guess, take it up with the Potter. ;) As the clay, I have to be willing to be molded. It's my fault that I'm still only an ashtray. My purpose is not a noble one, but it could be. If I'm willing to be molded and if I can stand the heat in the kiln. It's not pleasant, but what I know for sure is - I desire to be a beautiful vase, used to display God's glory and beauty to any and all who pass by. For that, I will endure the fire of God's refining.

2 comments:

Front Porch Momma said...

Girl i lost my wedding ring and was devastated then on my birthday ben went out to the garage to look for something and he found it in a box! Mind you we had moved 3 times since it was lost and it had been 3 years!!!
Praying it comes back to you.

Rachel said...

Wow. Thanks for sharing, Rachael! I really hope my story has a happy ending. I'm slowly surrendering it. I know that whatever comes of it, God will use it for my good and His glory. I'm definitely still in the deep sigh phase... :)