Time For A Change

After much thought on the subject, I have decided to combine The Trysting Place and Must Share... I love The Trysting Place, but Must Share... has so much more potential and I'm thinking of doing a Tuesday's Tryst Post or something along those lines... I look forward to seeing you over there!

Fear

Oh where to start, friends? Where to start?

I didn't know it until recently, but I have been battling fear for quite some time. Maybe my whole life. I've heard others share about their battle with fear, and have often thought - I'm so thankful that I don't struggle with it.

That sound you hear is me laughing hysterically. At myself. And my pride.

What's not funny is the enemy's ability to sneak in and set up shop without you even knowing about it.

How about this for a giggle? Last year the church I attend put on a women's conference called Fearless. For various reasons, I didn't want to go. A friend said to me, "Really? Fearless? That doesn't grab you?" (Or something to that effect, anyway.) I do remember exactly what I said.... "No, not really. I don't really struggle with fear."

There's the laughing again.

Sigh.

I really believed it, too. There were so many things that I probably should have had a healthy dose of fear for and I didn't. I worked in a very rough neighborhood for a couple of years and I know many of my friends and family lost sleep over my safety. I never felt fear. I even said, "I'm too dumb to be scared." I kid, but I truly never worried about it.

So, you can imagine my horror when, through the work and study I have been doing in multiple areas, God blows the lid off of my fear issues. That I didn't even know I had. He's been working up to it, really. Like He does. Never would He blow the lid off of anything unless He knew it would be beneficial for me and bring glory to Himself. So He started with a peek here, and a glimpse there. He put the right people in my life before He started up the wind machine. People that could lead the way because they've been there. People who have the wisdom and knowledge to encourage me on my journey. People who I trust and know have only my best interest at heart. People that are hearing and trusting in God alone. People whose advice is firmly planted in the Word of God. Oh, hallelujah for that!

I've gotten a look at the problem and let me tell you - it ain't pretty. I seriously don't even know how it happened, but it sure did. I'll also tell you that a LOT of things make a LOT more sense now that I understand what was going on.

I know that I know that I know that I have not been given a spirit of fear. (2 Timothy 1:7) Apparently there was a bin of it marked "FREE" somewhere along the line, because I stocked up and didn't even know what I was getting.

One thing I've learned recently that has made a lot of sense is this: Whatever we feed gets strong. And I have fed the spirit of fear more than anything else. The choices I've made and the things I have done in the name of self protection and preservation have compounded fear in my life.

Our Pastor once said that fear is to the devil what worship is to God. Fear, worry, fretting, stress.... Glorifies the devil. If that isn't reason enough to get it figured out, I don't know what would be.

The good news is, now I DO know and you better believe I'm going to do something about it. I feel like God has been preparing me all my life for this moment. I'm fairly certain I will be unrecognizable once it's all figured out, but as long as I look A LOT more like Jesus than I do now, I'm totally fine with it.

I've never been more "confident of this, that he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Glory!

In Christ...

I'm doing the Beth Moore Breaking Free study with my women's group at church. Every week as we watch the video of Beth teaching, I'm blown away by the wisdom and insight she has in the Word. It also blows me away to hear how she always hits on something I've talked with a certain friend about that very week. God has been blowing my mind with His Awesomeness lately. I doubt He's doing anything different, I must just have my eyes open, lately...

One of the things that Beth touched on yesterday reminded me that the enemy is a master of deception. Some how we are always very quick to buy into the lies of who he says we are or are not.

God has written us the most beautiful love letter ever written. In it, He tells us who we are and whose. Let me challenge you to read through what He has to say about you.

*The following was copied from a paper that I got a few years ago. The source is not listed, so I can't give any credit - but you'll note that it is simply the Truth of God's Word. So, mad props to God. :)

God says that in Christ you are:

A New Creation

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! I Corinthians 5:17

²²You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24

Adequate In Christ

⁵Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. ⁶He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:5-6

Totally Forgiven

When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature,God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, ¹⁴having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. Colossians 2:13-14

Of Great Worth and Value

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. ³¹So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:30-31

⁸For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, ¹⁹but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. I Peter 1:18-19

God's Child

²Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— John 1:12

¹How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ²Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. I John 3:1-2

God's Co-worker

For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building. I Corinthians 3:9

As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. 2 Corinthians 6:1

God's Masterpiece

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

Jesus' Friend

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. John 15:15

One Spirit With Him

¹⁷But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. I Corinthians 6:17

Perfect And Complete

and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority Colossians 2:10

because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. Hebrews 10:14

Free From Condemnation

¹Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus Romans 8:1

Holy And Blameless

But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— Colossians 1:22

⁴For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. Ephesians 1:4

Completely Accepted

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. Romans 15:7

Partaker Of His Divine Nature

Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. 2 Peter 1:4

Empowered With His Strength

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength,²⁰which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, Ephesians 1:18-20

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Unconditionally Loved

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. John 15:9

No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God. John 16:27

Dead To Sin

¹¹In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Romans 6:11

²because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:2

Being Transformed

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. ²Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2

Joint Heir With Christ

Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Romans 8:17

Reconciled To God

And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. I Corinthians 6:11

¹Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, Romans 5:1

Never Alone Or Forsaken

God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5b

Indwelt By God's Spirit

Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? I Corinthians 3:16

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; I Corinthians 6:19

No Longer Under The Law

For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. ²⁰I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. ²¹I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!" Galatians 2:19-21

Precious In His Sight

Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life. Isaiah 43:4

Eternally Saved

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— Ephesians 2:8

¹¹And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. ¹²He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.¹³I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. I John 5:11-13

Safe And Secure

You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Selah Psalm 32:7

Psalm 91

But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

² When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

³ For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your stead. Isaiah 43:1-3

Chosen By God

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. I Peter 2:9

Absolutely Righteous

But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. Romans 8:10

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21

Uniquely Gifted By God

I Corinthians 12

⁴Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ⁶We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. ⁷If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach;⁸if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. Romans 12:4-8

A Victorious Overcomer

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. 2 Corinthians 2:14

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. I John 4:4

Blessed With Every Spiritual Blessing

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Ephesians 1:3

Soak in that, dear friend. Do not listen to the one who has come to kill and steal and destroy. Listen to the one Who came to give you life. Abundant Life.

Delight

I love Psalm 37:4.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. 

I once had a conversation with a friend where this verse came up.  We talked about how it's highly unlikely that this verse is meant to be taken literally.  More than likely God will not just give you the desires of your heart.  If by that it's meant that we will get whatever we want.  My friend suggested that maybe what this verse is actually saying is that He will put His desires in our hearts, so that our desires will be what He desires for us to desire.  

Does this make any sense?  I hope so.

A few years later, another friend and I had a conversation which referenced this verse.  This time, it was the beginning of the verse that was the focus of discussion.  "I wonder what is meant by 'delight'?" she asked.

Well, I have a concordance and I'm not afraid to use it.

This is what I found. The word that is translated to delight is Anag or anawg.  The definition of that word is to be soft or pliable.  

Pliable:

1. Easily bent or shaped. See Synonyms at malleable.

2. Receptive to change; adaptable: pliable attitudes.

3. Easily influenced, persuaded, or swayed; tractable.

Soak that one in for a second...

Be easily bent or shaped

Be receptive to change

Be adaptable

Be easily influenced

 (by) the Lord and He will give you the desires that He wants you to have in your hearts.

Wow.

So. 

The moral of the story, as always,  is surrender.  Surrender and He will work it out. He'll even make it so you are totally fine with how He works it out.  Overnight?  Maybe.  Maybe not.

But He does work all things out for the good of those who are called by Him. I've seen it over and over and over. 

Is He awesome or what?

Hope. Now.

I love the song by Addison Road called Hope Now.  I usually don't love a song the first time I hear it, but when I do, I know it's a good one.

My favorite line is:  I'm not my own, I've been carried by you all my life.  I'm physically incapable of hearing it without getting choked up.

Because it's. so. true.

So true.

When I look back at my life, there is no mistaking the fact that there IS a God and He is madly in love with me.  No other logical explanation for any of it.

My computer is not letting me copy and paste certain things for some supremely annoying reason, so I guess you'll have to click over there to hear it...

Balance

Balance has been on my mind a lot lately.  I'm kind of an ALL or NOTHING kinda gal, so balance is tricky for me.

Tricky or not, I think it's important.  In all things.  In health, in Spiritual matters and especially parenting.  I read this fantastic post today, and I think what makes it fantastic is balance.

I want what I want and I want it now.  Can you relate?  When I ask someone to do something, I want them to do it right now.  Please tell me I'm not the only one.  So, when I tell Chloe to come here, sit down, eat your chicken, give me that, leave that on, don't stand on that, give me a kiss....  I want it now.  I'm all about the first time obedience, yo. 

Ha!  Because I'm such a jedi master in obedience myself, right?  

Please.  

I read Grace Based Parenting and realized that first time obedience (and the efforts that go into training for it) and grace based parenting don't exactly go hand in hand.  Ultimately, I want to have the relationship that God wants with me with Chloe.  I'm pretty sure that if God's number one priority was first time obedience, he'd have no doubt given up on me years ago...

So, with Chloe, I seek balance.  I'm not giving up hope of an obedient child.  I'm not even giving up hope for first time obedience.  I'm still me and still want what I want.  But I also know that our relationship is more important than what I want, what I think I need.  So how I'll go about it will be different based on that conclusion.  My expectations will be different.  Balanced, hopefully.

In my spiritual life...  Balance.  I desire to be holy because I know it's what He desires for me.  I try.  I fail.  I try.  I fail.  In most things, if I try that much and continue to fail, I quit.  I want perfection from myself, even if no one else cares.  I'm so thankful that God has given us His Word.  Filled with people who loved him, like I love him.  People who fail.  Miserably.  But they continue.  They don't quit.  They keep on keeping on.  And He blesses them every time.

I have questions.  There is so much of it that I don't get.  I keep trudging along and I continually remind myself:  Balance!  It's a process.  I'm not likely to understand it all until I meet Jesus face to face.  I can overthink a trip to the grocery store or cleaning my toilet, so trust me when  I say - I need balance when it comes to understanding scripture and not overthinking my questions and those things that seem to contradict themselves in scripture. Even though I know that they don't, with enough overthinking - they sure seem to.

Balance in my relationships.  For many years I carried the torch in almost all of my personal relationships.  If I didn't come visit, we didn't visit.  If I didn't call, we didn't chat. Balance has brought a lot of painful realizations, the worst of which is that a one sided relationship isn't a relationship at all.  I mourn the loss of friends that I loved dearly.  It saddens me that when I stopped doing all of the work, the friendships died.  When we begin to value balance and a healthy order of things, it's not always easy, but I believe it's always right.

I will continue to seek God and His version of balance.  I pray that with it comes peace, contentment and joy.  I think that would be a sure sign that I was on the right track, wouldn't you agree?

I Don't Get It

There is so much in Scripture that I don't understand.  It really kind of bugs me.  It almost seems like the more I seek to understand it, the more confusing it becomes.

I recently started reading Genesis.  When Pastors say that the Bible is as interesting and engaging as anything else you could want to read, I'd say, I have to agree.  Scandal, love, deceit, twists, turns, you name it.  One story that I have always found especially perplexing is the story of Jacob and Esau.

When Rebekah is carrying this set of twins, the Lord tells her that two nations are warring inside her and that the older one will serve the younger one.

Pause.

I've mentioned before that I struggle with understanding God's Will, haven't I?  This is a classic case.

Unpause.

Esau is born first, and Jacob is born second.  Isaac favors Esau and Rebekah favors Jacob. When the boys are grown, Esau sells his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of stew.

That must of been some good stew.

When Isaac has gotten very old and is about to die, he tells Esau that he wants to give him his blessing.  Isaac likes stew too, so he asks Esau to go hunting and whip up a batch.  Rebekah overhears this and hatches a plan to trick Isaac into blessing Jacob instead.

Question.

Does Rebekah do this because the Lord told her this is how it was going to  be?  Or does the Lord know that this was the choice she would make, and therefore he prophesied what he already knew was going to take place, even though it wasn't necessarily His will for Isaac to be deceived?

Are you following me at all?  I hope so.  Because sometimes I have a hard time following myself.

Do you read the Bible?  Do you have questions like this when you do?  Is there one specific issue that comes up for you?

I am consistently scratching my head when it comes to free choice versus God's Will.  So often, when awful wretched things happen, I hear good people that love the Lord say this must have been His plan.  

I don't get it.

When I read the gospels and Jesus came against every form of disease, sickness, disfunction, imperfection or whathaveyou, he rebuked it.  He made it right.  So I find it hard to believe that many of those same things today are in God's Will.

How about this one?  What about salvation?  What about who's name is on the roster?  Do we put our names on it, or does God choose?  I know there are many people that believe God chose an elite group.  There are even several places in Scripture where Paul seems to refer to this very idea.  I don't doubt that there is a specific group of people that will be with Jesus for eternity.  Not for a second.  But when it is referred to as the "elect".  It makes it sound like we ain't the ones deciding.  It sounds a lot more like it's been decided for us.

It's a head scratcher in my book.

The good news is, we don't have to understand every aspect of the Christian faith.  Anyone else relieved by that?  I want to, but I also believe that it's highly unlikely any of us will this side of Heaven.  

So until that day, I will continue to seek God.  Not for understanding, but for relationship.  

And I know understanding will come. Even if I don't get it.