The Trysting Place

Time For A Change

2010-06-12T00:29:00.003-04:00

After much thought on the subject, I have decided to combine The Trysting Place and Must Share... I love The Trysting Place, but Must Share... has so much more potential and I'm thinking of doing a Tuesday's Tryst Post or something along those lines... I look forward to seeing you over there!

Fear

2010-04-13T14:28:00.002-04:00

Oh where to start, friends? Where to start?

I didn't know it until recently, but I have been battling fear for quite some time. Maybe my whole life. I've heard others share about their battle with fear, and have often thought - I'm so thankful that I don't struggle with it.

That sound you hear is me laughing hysterically. At myself. And my pride.

What's not funny is the enemy's ability to sneak in and set up shop without you even knowing about it.

How about this for a giggle? Last year the church I attend put on a women's conference called Fearless. For various reasons, I didn't want to go. A friend said to me, "Really? Fearless? That doesn't grab you?" (Or something to that effect, anyway.) I do remember exactly what I said.... "No, not really. I don't really struggle with fear."

There's the laughing again.

Sigh.

I really believed it, too. There were so many things that I probably should have had a healthy dose of fear for and I didn't. I worked in a very rough neighborhood for a couple of years and I know many of my friends and family lost sleep over my safety. I never felt fear. I even said, "I'm too dumb to be scared." I kid, but I truly never worried about it.

So, you can imagine my horror when, through the work and study I have been doing in multiple areas, God blows the lid off of my fear issues. That I didn't even know I had. He's been working up to it, really. Like He does. Never would He blow the lid off of anything unless He knew it would be beneficial for me and bring glory to Himself. So He started with a peek here, and a glimpse there. He put the right people in my life before He started up the wind machine. People that could lead the way because they've been there. People who have the wisdom and knowledge to encourage me on my journey. People who I trust and know have only my best interest at heart. People that are hearing and trusting in God alone. People whose advice is firmly planted in the Word of God. Oh, hallelujah for that!

I've gotten a look at the problem and let me tell you - it ain't pretty. I seriously don't even know how it happened, but it sure did. I'll also tell you that a LOT of things make a LOT more sense now that I understand what was going on.

I know that I know that I know that I have not been given a spirit of fear. (2 Timothy 1:7) Apparently there was a bin of it marked "FREE" somewhere along the line, because I stocked up and didn't even know what I was getting.

One thing I've learned recently that has made a lot of sense is this: Whatever we feed gets strong. And I have fed the spirit of fear more than anything else. The choices I've made and the things I have done in the name of self protection and preservation have compounded fear in my life.

Our Pastor once said that fear is to the devil what worship is to God. Fear, worry, fretting, stress.... Glorifies the devil. If that isn't reason enough to get it figured out, I don't know what would be.

The good news is, now I DO know and you better believe I'm going to do something about it. I feel like God has been preparing me all my life for this moment. I'm fairly certain I will be unrecognizable once it's all figured out, but as long as I look A LOT more like Jesus than I do now, I'm totally fine with it.

I've never been more "confident of this, that he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Glory!

In Christ...

2010-03-09T13:20:00.001-05:00

I'm doing the Beth Moore Breaking Free study with my women's group at church. Every week as we watch the video of Beth teaching, I'm blown away by the wisdom and insight she has in the Word. It also blows me away to hear how she always hits on something I've talked with a certain friend about that very week. God has been blowing my mind with His Awesomeness lately. I doubt He's doing anything different, I must just have my eyes open, lately...

One of the things that Beth touched on yesterday reminded me that the enemy is a master of deception. Some how we are always very quick to buy into the lies of who he says we are or are not.

God has written us the most beautiful love letter ever written. In it, He tells us who we are and whose. Let me challenge you to read through what He has to say about you.

*The following was copied from a paper that I got a few years ago. The source is not listed, so I can't give any credit - but you'll note that it is simply the Truth of God's Word. So, mad props to God. :)

God says that in Christ you are:

A New Creation

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! I Corinthians 5:17

²²You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24

Adequate In Christ

⁵Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. ⁶He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:5-6

Totally Forgiven

When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature,God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, ¹⁴having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. Colossians 2:13-14

Of Great Worth and Value

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. ³¹So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:30-31

⁸For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, ¹⁹but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. I Peter 1:18-19

God's Child

²Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— John 1:12

¹How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. ²Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. I John 3:1-2

God's Co-worker

For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building. I Corinthians 3:9

As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. 2 Corinthians 6:1

God's Masterpiece

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

Jesus' Friend

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. John 15:15

One Spirit With Him

¹⁷But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. I Corinthians 6:17

Perfect And Complete

and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority Colossians 2:10

because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. Hebrews 10:14

Free From Condemnation

¹Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus Romans 8:1

Holy And Blameless

But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— Colossians 1:22

⁴For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. Ephesians 1:4

Completely Accepted

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. Romans 15:7

Partaker Of His Divine Nature

Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. 2 Peter 1:4

Empowered With His Strength

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength,²⁰which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, Ephesians 1:18-20
I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Unconditionally Loved

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. John 15:9

No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God. John 16:27

Dead To Sin

¹¹In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Romans 6:11

²because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:2

Being Transformed

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. ²Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2

Joint Heir With Christ

Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Romans 8:17

Reconciled To God

And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. I Corinthians 6:11

¹Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, Romans 5:1

Never Alone Or Forsaken

God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5b

Indwelt By God's Spirit

Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? I Corinthians 3:16

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; I Corinthians 6:19

No Longer Under The Law

For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. ²⁰I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. ²¹I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!" Galatians 2:19-21

Precious In His Sight

Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life. Isaiah 43:4

Eternally Saved

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— Ephesians 2:8

¹¹And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. ¹²He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.¹³I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. I John 5:11-13

Safe And Secure

You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Selah Psalm 32:7

Psalm 91

But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

² When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

³ For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your stead. Isaiah 43:1-3

Chosen By God

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. I Peter 2:9

Absolutely Righteous

But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. Romans 8:10

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21

Uniquely Gifted By God

I Corinthians 12

⁴Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ⁶We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. ⁷If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach;⁸if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. Romans 12:4-8

A Victorious Overcomer

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. 2 Corinthians 2:14

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. I John 4:4

Blessed With Every Spiritual Blessing

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Ephesians 1:3

Soak in that, dear friend. Do not listen to the one who has come to kill and steal and destroy. Listen to the one Who came to give you life. Abundant Life.

Delight

2009-11-28T14:36:00.003-05:00

I love Psalm 37:4.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

I once had a conversation with a friend where this verse came up. We talked about how it's highly unlikely that this verse is meant to be taken literally. More than likely God will not just give you the desires of your heart. If by that it's meant that we will get whatever we want. My friend suggested that maybe what this verse is actually saying is that He will put His desires in our hearts, so that our desires will be what He desires for us to desire.

Does this make any sense? I hope so.

A few years later, another friend and I had a conversation which referenced this verse. This time, it was the beginning of the verse that was the focus of discussion. "I wonder what is meant by 'delight'?" she asked.

Well, I have a concordance and I'm not afraid to use it.

This is what I found. The word that is translated to delight is Anag or anawg. The definition of that word is to be soft or pliable.

Pliable:

1. Easily bent or shaped. See Synonyms at malleable.

2. Receptive to change; adaptable: pliable attitudes.

3. Easily influenced, persuaded, or swayed; tractable.

Soak that one in for a second...

Be easily bent or shaped

Be receptive to change

Be adaptable

Be easily influenced

(by) the Lord and He will give you the desires that He wants you to have in your hearts.

Wow.

So.

The moral of the story, as always, is surrender. Surrender and He will work it out. He'll even make it so you are totally fine with how He works it out. Overnight? Maybe. Maybe not.

But He does work all things out for the good of those who are called by Him. I've seen it over and over and over.

Is He awesome or what?

Hope. Now.

2009-10-20T21:38:00.003-04:00

I love the song by Addison Road called Hope Now. I usually don't love a song the first time I hear it, but when I do, I know it's a good one.

My favorite line is: I'm not my own, I've been carried by you all my life. I'm physically incapable of hearing it without getting choked up.

Because it's. so. true.

So true.

When I look back at my life, there is no mistaking the fact that there IS a God and He is madly in love with me. No other logical explanation for any of it.

My computer is not letting me copy and paste certain things for some supremely annoying reason, so I guess you'll have to click over there to hear it...

Balance

2009-10-12T12:49:00.004-04:00

Balance has been on my mind a lot lately. I'm kind of an ALL or NOTHING kinda gal, so balance is tricky for me.

Tricky or not, I think it's important. In all things. In health, in Spiritual matters and especially parenting. I read this fantastic post today, and I think what makes it fantastic is balance.

I want what I want and I want it now. Can you relate? When I ask someone to do something, I want them to do it right now. Please tell me I'm not the only one. So, when I tell Chloe to come here, sit down, eat your chicken, give me that, leave that on, don't stand on that, give me a kiss.... I want it now. I'm all about the first time obedience, yo.

Ha! Because I'm such a jedi master in obedience myself, right?

Please.

I read Grace Based Parenting and realized that first time obedience (and the efforts that go into training for it) and grace based parenting don't exactly go hand in hand. Ultimately, I want to have the relationship that God wants with me with Chloe. I'm pretty sure that if God's number one priority was first time obedience, he'd have no doubt given up on me years ago...

So, with Chloe, I seek balance. I'm not giving up hope of an obedient child. I'm not even giving up hope for first time obedience. I'm still me and still want what I want. But I also know that our relationship is more important than what I want, what I think I need. So how I'll go about it will be different based on that conclusion. My expectations will be different. Balanced, hopefully.

In my spiritual life... Balance. I desire to be holy because I know it's what He desires for me. I try. I fail. I try. I fail. In most things, if I try that much and continue to fail, I quit. I want perfection from myself, even if no one else cares. I'm so thankful that God has given us His Word. Filled with people who loved him, like I love him. People who fail. Miserably. But they continue. They don't quit. They keep on keeping on. And He blesses them every time.

I have questions. There is so much of it that I don't get. I keep trudging along and I continually remind myself: Balance! It's a process. I'm not likely to understand it all until I meet Jesus face to face. I can overthink a trip to the grocery store or cleaning my toilet, so trust me when I say - I need balance when it comes to understanding scripture and not overthinking my questions and those things that seem to contradict themselves in scripture. Even though I know that they don't, with enough overthinking - they sure seem to.

Balance in my relationships. For many years I carried the torch in almost all of my personal relationships. If I didn't come visit, we didn't visit. If I didn't call, we didn't chat. Balance has brought a lot of painful realizations, the worst of which is that a one sided relationship isn't a relationship at all. I mourn the loss of friends that I loved dearly. It saddens me that when I stopped doing all of the work, the friendships died. When we begin to value balance and a healthy order of things, it's not always easy, but I believe it's always right.

I will continue to seek God and His version of balance. I pray that with it comes peace, contentment and joy. I think that would be a sure sign that I was on the right track, wouldn't you agree?

I Don't Get It

2009-10-10T07:39:00.002-04:00

There is so much in Scripture that I don't understand. It really kind of bugs me. It almost seems like the more I seek to understand it, the more confusing it becomes.

I recently started reading Genesis. When Pastors say that the Bible is as interesting and engaging as anything else you could want to read, I'd say, I have to agree. Scandal, love, deceit, twists, turns, you name it. One story that I have always found especially perplexing is the story of Jacob and Esau.

When Rebekah is carrying this set of twins, the Lord tells her that two nations are warring inside her and that the older one will serve the younger one.

Pause.

I've mentioned before that I struggle with understanding God's Will, haven't I? This is a classic case.

Unpause.

Esau is born first, and Jacob is born second. Isaac favors Esau and Rebekah favors Jacob. When the boys are grown, Esau sells his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of stew.

That must of been some good stew.

When Isaac has gotten very old and is about to die, he tells Esau that he wants to give him his blessing. Isaac likes stew too, so he asks Esau to go hunting and whip up a batch. Rebekah overhears this and hatches a plan to trick Isaac into blessing Jacob instead.

Question.

Does Rebekah do this because the Lord told her this is how it was going to be? Or does the Lord know that this was the choice she would make, and therefore he prophesied what he already knew was going to take place, even though it wasn't necessarily His will for Isaac to be deceived?

Are you following me at all? I hope so. Because sometimes I have a hard time following myself.

Do you read the Bible? Do you have questions like this when you do? Is there one specific issue that comes up for you?

I am consistently scratching my head when it comes to free choice versus God's Will. So often, when awful wretched things happen, I hear good people that love the Lord say this must have been His plan.

I don't get it.

When I read the gospels and Jesus came against every form of disease, sickness, disfunction, imperfection or whathaveyou, he rebuked it. He made it right. So I find it hard to believe that many of those same things today are in God's Will.

How about this one? What about salvation? What about who's name is on the roster? Do we put our names on it, or does God choose? I know there are many people that believe God chose an elite group. There are even several places in Scripture where Paul seems to refer to this very idea. I don't doubt that there is a specific group of people that will be with Jesus for eternity. Not for a second. But when it is referred to as the "elect". It makes it sound like we ain't the ones deciding. It sounds a lot more like it's been decided for us.

It's a head scratcher in my book.

The good news is, we don't have to understand every aspect of the Christian faith. Anyone else relieved by that? I want to, but I also believe that it's highly unlikely any of us will this side of Heaven.

So until that day, I will continue to seek God. Not for understanding, but for relationship.

And I know understanding will come. Even if I don't get it.

If Only It Were A Golden Calf

2009-09-14T22:23:00.002-04:00

Oh, the idolatry...

Biggest sigh ever.

Jesus is tracking me down wherever I go these days. Or he's having my mail forwarded to a number of different people. Either way, the slow process of breaking me down so HE can rebuild?

Uh, yeah. I'd say that's underway, officially, now.

Brick by brick.

This oughta be fun.

He is taking the things that I've set up as idols in my life, and reminding me that He is the one I'm to worship.

He is literally destroying relationships, in an effort to show that the one with Him is the ONLY one that matters.

He is revealing the Pride and Selfishness that exist in my life. And unfortunately, He can't get close to me when that disgusting debris is littering the path.

I just wish we lived in the days of the golden calves.

Because then I could pay someone else to take that worthless thing to the edge of town, to the LANDFILL where it belongs.

But these days, our idols are our own flesh and bone. They are our misconceptions about ourselves and others.

And the process of breaking it up and hauling it to the landfill is a long and painful one.

But it's a necessary one, and I am onboard. I'm even a little bit excited. Ready to get my hands dirty.

And I know I will be better on the other side.

Open Hands

2009-09-11T16:52:00.002-04:00

Our MOPS group started back up today. I'm excited for my second year and trusting that God has great things in store... This year I feel able to get more involved, so I've volunteered to be part of the steering committee. I'm not sure what that looks like, yet. But I think it's going to be a lot of fun.

God never ceases to amaze me, in His ability to speak truth directly to my heart in the midst of a group. Our Mentor Mom is truly fabulous and I don't know how she does it, but she manages to speak directly to me almost every week. How can she possibly know what I need? She doesn't. He does. It's a beautiful thing...

Today, she was talking about relationships and how things can change, even when you don't want them to. Word. She talked about holding things with open hands, so it's a lot easier to not only let go, when it's time, but also to receive whatever God is going to put in it's place.

I needed to hear that. Oh, how I needed to hear that. The sticky buns? I didn't need those. The silly (and fun) game, that made me regret wearing heels? Didn't need that. But those words, that reminder? That was worth the price of admission times 10. Easily.

I knew I needed to bring myself back to a place of surrender. Especially regarding a specific situation that I don't understand and I don't like. Not one bit. It makes absolutely no sense to me and I feel like it should be different. But like most things in my life, it is outside of my control. I've done all I can do to bring about a happy ending, and it's just not happening. So what's my next step?

Surrender.

Even though I don't wanna.

I will, because I know there is always a lesson. There is always good in there somewhere, even when all I can see is the dysfunction, the ugly and the enemy's wretched, wretched scheming.

So, I will surrender. I will say goodbye to my plan. And I will open my hands and wait for what God will place in them. And this time, I will not close my hand around whatever that is. He gives and takes away, and it's a lot easier when it's not a tug of war.

Wisdom

2009-08-27T21:37:00.001-04:00

I long to understand the heart of God. I want to wade out past the confusing arguments of men and swim out into the vast deep knowledge of God. I want the disagreements of this group and that church and those people to matter not, because God told me what he thinks about all of it.

All those things that seem like contradictions, but I know they can't be? I want to understand and be able to help others understand, too.

The questions keep coming like rain that overwhelms. Rain that shows no sign of stopping anytime soon.

The rain, it can be good.

I guess it's like anything. It can be good or bad. Just depends on how you look at it.

The questions have the power to separate or draw in.

I'm leaning in.

The Power of Praying

2009-07-21T22:04:00.005-04:00

A couple of years ago, I bought the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. I read through the book, praying each prayer at the end. I underlined a lot of stuff, like I do. It went on the shelf for the next several months. Probably six months or so ago, I got it back out and thought I'd read it again.

I didn't.

What I did do, has really worked for me. Instead of rereading the whole book, I scanned over the underlined portions throughout each chapter and then prayed through the prayers at the end of each chapter. I began doing one chapter/prayer each night and dating it. I just completed the 5th time through. I decided this time that I will make a list of the most important things from each section and craft my own specific prayer. As I pray through each chapter this time around, I'll be jotting notes in a journal every night and when I'm done, I'll create my extra special personalized prayer to pray over my husband every night.

Knowing that I'm covering my husband in prayer means a lot to me. What has really been incredible, is watching as, over time, some of these prayers are answered.

We have been married for ten years, and while I would characterize them as wonderful years, I would definitely not lie to you and say that any one of them has been easy. Though as time goes by, it does get easier, so hang on newlyweds. I can tell you one thing for sure, some of the things I have desired to change about my husband for years, have come to pass even in the last few months. Not because I've finally convinced him. Not because I was right all along. But because when I surrendered it to the Lord and allowed Him to work in my husbands heart, my husband came to some of my same conclusions. The excellent thing about surrender is that when I let go of it, it lets go of me - whether or not things change.

If you are married and you haven't read the book, you should. If you're not married, get The Power of a Praying Woman (or Man). Consider praying the prayers consistently, too. It has really worked for me!

For more Works for Me Wednesday, visit We Are THAT Family.

Well, so much for every day, right?

2009-05-30T16:52:00.002-04:00

Oh well. What can you do?

I just finished the Beth Moore study I've been working on for, well, ever. I've mentioned it before and I highly recommend it.

To Live Is Christ, is definitely one of my favorites! I loved learning more about Paul and following him along on all of his missionary travels. If you've ever done a Beth Moore study, you know that she goes deep and digs up historical references that would be the envy of your local librarian. One of the absolute best tid bits I've ever come across was included in the final study of Paul's life.

She is talking about 2 Timothy 4:7-8

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Apparently, his reason for using this analogy was one final jab at the Roman Emperor, Nero, who was responsible for his execution. Beth mentions Nero "competing" in the Olympic games, and here's what I found when I googled it. Gotta love google.... Oh, and Wikipedia, of course!

Nero was convinced to participate in the Olympic Games of 67 in order to improve relations with Greece and display Roman dominance.^[102] As a competitor, Nero raced a ten-horse chariot and nearly died after being thrown from it.^[103] He also performed as an actor and a singer.^[104] Though Nero faltered in his racing (in one case, dropping out entirely before the end) and acting competitions,^[103] he won these crowns nevertheless and paraded them when he returned to Rome.^[103] The victories are attributed to Nero bribing the judges and his status as emperor.^[105]

So then Paul says, I have finished the race! Then makes reference to the crown that waits for him in Heaven.

I don't know about you, but I think that's awesome. Sadly, his boldness, could have been the final nail in his coffin, but if I learned anything about Paul, it's that that boy did not dance around the truth.

Regardless of the consequences.

Some Times It's Easier When It's Hard

2009-05-04T12:40:00.002-04:00

Can you relate?

I find myself running to my Savior more often, more passionately and more desperately when times are tough.

When I was teaching, not a day went by that I didn't spend at least part of my day with the Lord. Sometimes it was Shane and Shane and Jesus and I on the way to school or on the way home. Honestly, I don't think many days went by when those boys weren't serenading me over that two year period. Sometimes, it was Beth Moore and I studying together at lunch. Many a time, when I had 5 sections of rowdy 7th grades IN A ROW, followed by a 6th hour conference hour, I would literally fall on my face and cry out to the Lord to rapture me the heck out of there....

I'm not even gonna pretty it up for ya, IT SUCKED.

But I was running hard after the Lord.

Fast forward to being what I want to be, where I want to be - a stay at home mom - at, well, home... Don't get me wrong, it's hard as often as it's not, but I just don't have that "the devil's on my heels and I must get to Jesus" mentality that so quickly and consistently put me on my knees.

That's why I just love this quote from Hinds Feet on High Places...

It had been easier to accept the hard path and to be patient when the sea was grey and dull than now when the sun shone and everything else around looked bright and happy and satisfied.

I love that book. I've read it twice, and I couldn't recommend it any more highly than I do. It's such a beautiful allegory. If you haven't read it, you should. If you have read it, you should do it again.

Either way - remember this:

You will seek me and find when you seek me with all of your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

I have an idea...

2009-05-02T09:57:00.002-04:00

I've been going through some of my favorite books, looking for inspiring quotes and nuggets of wisdom. Whenever I read a book, I keep a pen handy, and underline things that:

Speak to me.
Inspire me.
I want to implement in my life.
I want to remember.
I want to share with others.

You get the idea...

I also always take notes at church or conferences, anywhere that I may have some wisdom imparted upon me... When I was pregnant, I went through all of my church notes and journals, and typed out a list of things I wanted to remember while in labor.

Have I ever mentioned that I had my daughter at home? Since pain meds aren't an option here, smack dab in the Middle of Nowhere, MI - I wanted to have some truth to meditate on in the event I started cursing the day I ever hatched the plan to stay home to birth my baby. That moment never came and I was much too busy pushing a stubborn little (if you can call a 9 lb. girl little...) girl out for FIVE HOURS to have time for reading or anything else. But I'm happy to have gone back through the years of teaching, study and whathaveyou, nonetheless... Plus it kept me occupied while I waited for a week past my due date for the little darling to make her grand entrance...

I digress.

It occurred to me as I came across quote after quote that I want to remember, that it might be beneficial to select some of my favorites and share them with you. Then I can seem all smart and wise when I then expound on it and add my own commentary.

Or not.

But at least I'll have something to write about.

I would really like to start writing every day, or at least most days, and I thought this might be a good way to get the juices flowing.

I'll start on Monday. See you then!

Compassion India Blogger Trip...

2009-04-30T20:10:00.002-04:00

I've been following just about everything written by the India bloggers...

I'll tell you what, I have been changed by this trip, and I didn't even go.

I've been moved to get serious about my relationship with Linda, the precious girl we've been sponsoring for years from Tanzania.

I've been moved to sponsor more children. I can't wait to get my info packet!

But this - if I can hold onto this? (Read the rest of the post by Melissa, daughter of Beth Moore, here.)

The Scriptures are too profound just to read in isolation of the real world. They must be read and lived. To be interpreted correctly, they must be performed. The gospel of Jesus Christ is too big, too cataclysmic, to be left on the page. They should burst forth from our reality.

I don't even know what might happen.

Beth Moore on Marriage....

2009-04-14T09:55:00.004-04:00

I've been diligently working through Beth Moore's To Live Is Christ, The Life and Ministry of Paul. Like any study I've ever done by Beth, I HIGHLY recommend it.

This study has taken me through the book of Acts, which upon reading it for the first time (I know!?!?!?) last year, has quickly become one of my favorites. The last week or two of the study covers some of the epistles, written by Paul.

This morning we were in Ephesians, which is another one of my top favorite books of the Bible. Is there any better prayer than this?

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. Ephesians 1:17-19

So, when Beth said we were going to Ephesians, I was pretty stoked. (Yes, Mr. Red Squiggle, Ephesians is a word! Ever heard of a little book called the Bible?)

I was surprised, though I don't know why, when she landed in chapter 5, and chose marriage. This has been a much discussed topic with a friend, as of late, and while I was interested to hear Beth's take on the whole submission business, it wasn't where I had expected her to go, based on the study up to this point.

Again, like anything Beth does, it was good. Real good.

Come along for the ride.

I love how she started it. She says, "Stop and pray for an open mind and freedom from the hinderances of negative preconceptions." Good idea. I prayed that God would show me what He wanted me to know about marriage. Not Beth, not me, not any church that has ever added their 2 cents.

She started off by talking about the role of Christian wives. She draws from her own experience, and says this: "When I'm not in agreement with Keith, I usually speak up, and we pray and work it out - at times less easily than others! This spirit of praying things through until we can come to consensus on important issues is the essence of mutual respect and the opposite of "lording it over one another."

She lists 4 things that submission is not.

1. Submission does not mean women are under the authority of men in general. She references the King James Version of Ephesians 5:22. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands."

2. Submission does not mean inequality. She references Galations 3:28. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." She also says, "Spiros Zodhiates' definition of the original Greek word hupotasso explains that submission 'is not due to her being inferior to her husband, for they are both equal before God.'"

3. Submission does not mean wives are to treat their husbands like God. She says this, "The Bible Knowledge Commentary explains, 'As to the Lord' does not mean that a wife is to submit to her husband in the same way she submits to the Lord, but rather that her submission to her husband is her service rendered 'to the Lord.'"

4. Submission does not mean slavery. She says, "Paul uses an entirely different word in Ehpesians 6:5 when he instructs slaves to obey their masters. This Greek word for obey, hupakous, embraces more of the meaning people often mistakenly associate with marital submission. Hupokuo means 'to obey, to yield to a superior command or force (without necessarily being willing).' The term draws a picture of a soldier saluting his officer, not a wife submitting to her husband!

Now that we have a better understanding of what submission isn't, let's look at what it is.

Beth says this:

"The Greek word for submit is hupotasso. Hupo means "under" and tasso means "to place in order." The compound word hupotasso means "to place under or in an orderly fashion." Paul didn't dislike women, he liked ORDER! He advocated order in the church, order in government, order in business, and, yes, order in the home.... Paul regarded husbands and wives as spiritual equals but with functional differences."

Is anyone else relieved? I was brought up in more of a "lord it over" atmosphere, so I found this take rather quite refreshing. Don't misread. I'm down with WHATEVER God says. I just want to have a correct view of what that actually is. And when God seems to endorse (or is said to, by someone else) something that conflicts with a lot of other scripture, and quite frankly, His character? Well, that's a smidgie difficult to reconcile.... That's why I love what she said next....

"Any misuse of submission by either the husband or the wife is sin."

Amen, sister.

Now onto the men.

The Role of Christian Husbands:

"The original Greek word for love agapo meaning "to esteem, love, indicating a direction of the will and finding one's joy in something or someone." Notice the phrase indicating a direction of the will. A husband is called by God to exercise his will to love his wife. Love is not simply an emotion or a feeling. Love is a willingness to continue in devotion and goodness toward the spouse."

Her main points:

1. Husbands should love their wives sacrificially "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." She says this, "Just as a husband must be careful not to abuse his wife's exhortation to submission, a wife must not abuse her husband's exhortation to sacrifice.

Good word, Beth.

2. Husbands should love their wives in ways that encourage purity. She says this, "Christ encourages purity in His bride, the church, desiring for her to be holy and without stain. God calls upon husbands to treat their wives as pure vessels even in physical intimacy."

3. Husbands should love their wives as they love their own bodies.

Then she gives an excellent analogy. Excellent.

"Think of marriage as a three legged stool. The legs are a submissive wife, a loving husband, and Christ. All three legs must be in place for marriage to work as God intended. A wife submitting to an unloving husband is as lopsided as a husband sacrificing for a domineering wife. When Christ is not the head of the marriage relationship, the stool falls indeed. Paul pictures for us God's ideal marriage relationship. Sadly, many Christian women are trying to keep their stools balanced with only one leg in place - their submission."

Do you know any women like that? I do. How unfortunate.

Her last point is on the role of Christ in marriage. It can be summed up with one verse. "For by him all things were created....and in him all things hold together." Colossians 1:16-17 Okay make that parts of two verses. Math isn't my thing...

Beth says, "Only God created marriage, and only He can hold it together."

If you're married you have felt the truth of that statement. If you're not and you ever do get married, you will feel the truth of that statement. Because if I know anything in this life, it's that that is a true statement.

While I know that God is not finished with us, I'm thankful to have a lot of the learning and pain and frustration that comes with marriage in the rear view mirror. I'm not delusional, I know there is more to come, but it is so much easier to trust that God will complete that which He began in us, when I've seen him do it time and time again. If you're in the middle of a trial - believe me when I say He can and will do way way more than you could ever think to ask or imagine. I've seen it happen in my own house. My mind has been blown, I tell ya.

I guess that's all for today. See? Just when I think I have nothing to share? I'm right, again. I just stole every smart thing Beth Moore ever thought about writing on pages 184-188 of To Live Is Christ.

I hope I don't get arrested. I don't think I'd be singing in my jail cell.

I'm deep in thought, ya'll....

2009-04-13T15:34:00.003-04:00

I've been having a hard time coming up with something to say over here. I've been pondering a lot of things, but nothing I really want to share at this moment. Hopefully, it's just a phase.... I feel out of place, disconnected, misunderstood and a smidgie confused.

For now, I think I'll just keep seeking the Lord, even though I'm not writing about it.

Thanks for understanding.

A Great Giveaway!

2009-04-01T10:56:00.004-04:00

Head on over to Restored 316 Designs and enter for a chance to win a complete Blog Makeover!

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-31T22:13:00.002-04:00

I've never been so excited to see the end of a month. This has been challenging. I'm really glad to be finishing it up.

Okay - I can't resist this one. Many times as I read about the Proverbs 31 woman, I feel inadequate, less than and just all around not good enough. Tonight as I read, verse after verse I had thoughts like - I wish, or working on that, or maybe someday. Of course, if God wills - someone might rise up and call me blessed. Only by God's grace and mercy. But as I read this verse:

15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

I can't help but think - this has been the headliner of my resume for the past year. A certain member of my family finds herself thirsty often, and sometimes it is dark. I provide her food and deliver it (mostly) with a smile on my face, whenever she needs it.

I'm hoping for this one tomorrow. Please Lord, I need this.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

This is one of my life goals:

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

And if I only get one wish - It would probably be this:

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

Thanks for enduring my ponderings. From here on out, I'll try to be more deep and focused. Beth and I are working hard, so I'm sure I'll have something to share from the life of Paul sooner than later.

Till then - Think about this one. As Resurrection Sunday draws near - Biblegateway.com is really pulling out the good stuff.

“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”- Isaiah 53:5-6

Studying Scripture

2009-03-31T17:30:00.004-04:00

If I had unlimited time and funds, I would go to seminary. Not because I wanna be a preacher, but because I love God's Word and would love to understand it at that level.

Since time and funds are an issue, I would love your suggestions for studying Scripture. Is there a commentary that you love? Some other tip or resource that would help me to really dig in, in the comfort of my own home?

I love Beth Moore and her fantastic in depth studies. I think I'm on my 5th, right now. She does exactly what I would do, if I knew where and how to do it. There are certain verses that I would like to be able to understand in the original language, compare key words with how they are used elsewhere, and have a better understanding of the original cultural climate they were written in.

Acts 17:11
Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.

I was in a church, many years ago, that tweaked things to suit their (his - the pastor's) liking. I would really like to have the capability to do what the Bereans did. If you have any suggestions for examining the Scriptures, I would greatly appreciate them! Thanks.

If you have a problem you need help solving, head on over to We Are THAT Family for the reverse edition of Works For Me Wednesday .

Did you hear the news? And a Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-30T22:19:00.003-04:00

If you didn't see my last post, you should click here.. Or perhaps, just scroll down...

And for the pondering....

30:8 Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.

9 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
and say, 'Who is the LORD ?'
Or I may become poor and steal,
and so dishonor the name of my God.

I've probably said this close to 30 times in the last month, but this is one of my favorites!!

I have an announcement.....

2009-03-29T20:22:00.005-04:00

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No, I'm not pregnant.
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I FOUND MY WEDDING RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's actually a pretty great story. One of my besties was over for an evening of hanging out. I thought for sure she would want to play Scrabble. For some reason, I thought she liked that game.

She doesn't.

I was a little bummed. I had been looking forward to whopping someone besides Frank at Scrabble.

"We could play cards." She offered.

"I've got Yahtzee..." I said.

"I could play some Yahtzee." She replies.

So I go to Fetch the Yahtzee. I have two of them, and one was perched at the top of my closet. The other (I got my grandma's when she passed away.) was on a lower shelf though I almost missed it, as it was behind some other stuff. So as not to over exert myself, I got the box that was on the lower shelf. I got back up to the kitchen table, opened the box and.....

YAHTZEE!

My wedding ring was in the Yahtzee box.

Yes. I'm serious.

What on earth was it doing in there? It's a valid question you ask. My sister and I played Yahtzee less than a week before Christmas. In fact, I bet it was the 22nd or 23rd. We played on the couch in the living room where the wood burning stove is. I'm assuming I got hot and took off my ring. My fingers always swell when I'm warm. Now. Why I thought it would be a good idea to put it in the Yahtzee box? Yeah, I'm not too sure about the answer to that one.

I may have said the following to my ring while playing Yahtzee.

"I thought I'd never see you again!"

Brings new meaning to Yahtzee!

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-29T19:30:00.002-04:00

But first, one of the best verses in the whole Bible is Biblegateway's Verse of the day today:

“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”- 2 Corinthians 5:21

Hallelujah!

29:20 Do you see a man who speaks in haste?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.

This, along with gentleness, is an ongoing battle I fight. I blew it again this weekend and am reminded that even when it seems I have come a long long way, there is still a long long way to go. I have to be so vigilant when it comes to my tone, and airing my frustrations.

Father, I pray that you would give me the spirit of wisdom and revelation so that I would know you better. As I know you better, Father, I pray I would become more like your Son. I especially pray that I would be gentle and loving and kind with my words, both what I say and how I say it. Lord, I've never found my human efforts to be effective in transformational change. I'm relying on You and Your power, Father. I ask for it in Jesus name. Amen

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-28T23:07:00.002-04:00

28:26 He who trusts in himself is a fool,
but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.

Isn't this a constant struggle? It seems I need to be reminded of it continually.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-27T15:58:00.000-04:00

27:1 Do not boast about tomorrow,
for you do not know what a day may bring forth.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-26T22:46:00.002-04:00

I know the Word of God cannot contradict itself. I believe that.

These two verses, which you'll notice are RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER make me scratch my head every time I read them.
26:4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
or you will be like him yourself.
5 Answer a fool according to his folly,
or he will be wise in his own eyes.

What are your thoughts?

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-25T23:46:00.002-04:00

25:25 Like cold water to a weary soul
is good news from a distant land.

I got some good news today. I'm hoping, make that PRAYING, for more tomorrow.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-24T22:00:00.001-04:00

24:3 By wisdom a house is built,
and through understanding it is established;

Instruments

2009-03-24T07:17:00.003-04:00

The Lord spoke to me on Sunday, and I've been thinking about it a lot. All I heard was, "Instruments of Glory".

The word instrument has stuck, and it keeps coming up. Here are a couple of the most fitting definitions of the word, courtesy of dictionary.com.

~ a mechanical tool or implement, esp. one used for delicate or precision work: surgical instruments.

~ a contrivance or apparatus for producing musical sounds: a stringed instrument.

~a device for measuring the present value of a quantity under observation.

All of the above are excellent examples of different types of instruments; mechanical instruments, musical instruments, measuring instruments. Though all very different items, they all have one thing in common.

They can do nothing by themselves.

Our garage is filled with all sorts of tools. Woodworking tools, garden tools, an entire box of tools used for various things, all of which my husband uses in his role as Mr. Fix It. The tools don't fix it. Mr. Fix It, using the tools, fixes it.

We don't really have any musical instruments around this house. We love music and I, especially, would love to play an instrument, but I don't. So you see, it would be silly to have instruments in a house where they would just sit. Instruments don't make music, talented people who play instruments make music.

We do measure a lot of stuff around here, particularly in the kitchen. I have more measuring cups and spoons then should be permitted by law, and you know what? Not one of them can do a thing with out my help.

Something bigger, stronger and more clever has to use all of the above listed items in order for them to do what they're meant to do.

And so it is, when we are instruments in our Father's hands.

He wills us to breathe, you know.

The difference between me and the hand shovel? No difference.

The difference between me and the guitar? No difference.

The difference between me and measuring cup? No difference.

The shovel, guitar and measuring cup all need someone to pick it up and do with it what was meant to be done.

Uh-oh, I just thought of a difference.

The shovel, guitar and measuring cup are always willing to be used for what they were created for.

Hmmm..... Interesting.

The last definition has somewhat of a negative connotation to it, but for my purposes, it is the very best one.

~ a person used by another merely as a means to some private end; tool or dupe.

Our Creator made us for a purpose. By allowing Him to work through our surrendered lives, we become instruments of His love, grace, mercy, and kindness. When we allow him to do with us what was intended, we become Instruments of His Glory. Together we become and ever building symphony of beauty that has the potential to change this world.

Jesus said, "Apart from me, you can do nothing." John 15:5

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-23T21:09:00.002-04:00

23:23 Buy the truth and do not sell it;
get wisdom, discipline and understanding.

This is another one of my favorite proverbs. I just love it.

I'd also like to report that I'm slowly but surely plugging along on Proverbs 3. I'm really happy with how it's coming along. I'm focusing on what I have done, not what I have to do. I definitely think it's gonna be awhile....

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-22T17:32:00.003-04:00

22: 6 Train [a] a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Lord, I pray that you would continually reveal to Frank and I how to do this. Father, more than anything, we want to represent you and lay a foundation of trust and love that will point to you and make it very easy for Chloe to lay her her life in your hands, once that is her choice to make.

22:17 -18 Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise;
apply your heart to what I teach, for it is pleasing when you keep them in your heart
and have all of them ready on your lips.

I'd say this is one of the greatest benefits of reading and rereading the Proverbs. You can't help but meditate on them and have them available when they are needed.

Oopsie #2, This time with new and improved excuses....

2009-03-21T19:14:00.003-04:00

Seriously.

Chloe pulled an all nighter on Thursday and we're just now recovering. She honest to goodness didn't sleep but two hours all night, and since they were spent laying on me on the couch, I say they don't even count. She watched about 6 episodes of Sesame Street and 2 episodes of Miffy and Friends, and can you believe she DID NOT fall asleep while watching them?

Totally insane, her love for Elmo, Murray and Friends.

So, I'm back.

Hopefully for good this time.

I'm skipping the ones I missed, and picking it up on Proverbs 21.

21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof
than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

21:19 Better to live in a desert
than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.

I just love hearing what it's like to live with a grouchy lady from a man's perspective. How about you? I'm kidding, a little bit. Mostly because it reminds me of one summer day in Cabin #1, the best cabin there is at Bayshore Camp, for those of you who didn't know. You see, that day, the lovely Ashley, then a senior in high school, was perusing the proverbs reading the funny ones. "These are hilarious!" She would say.

I wonder what she'll think of them when she's the grouchy lady and the Lord uses those "funny" drippy faucet, desert and corner of the roof proverbs to convict her.

I don't usually find them funny, but I often check my attitude at the door upon reading them.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go upstairs and spend some time with my hubbie.

He's in the living room, not on the roof.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-18T20:14:00.002-04:00

1810 The name of the LORD is a strong tower;
the righteous run to it and are safe.

Let us always remember that things in life will always be changing. It is the one guarantee here on Earth. When things are spinning, focusing on an unmoving object helps to gain perspective and keep our composure. In this ever changing and uncertain world, let's remember that our God is the same yesterday, today and forever. To keep our focus on Him is to make sure we will be steady and immovable when things around us get shaky or start spinning.

18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.

With the above in mind, make sure (self, I'm talking to myself here) that what you say is a result of the truth that God is the same and He is our Strong Tower. Let us always speak blessing over others, may we always lift up and never tear down, and may we always be a light in this dark world with our positive and encouraging words. People are reeling, and we have an opportunity to point them to our Father. Let's live our faith and speak truth into all who cross our paths.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-17T23:34:00.001-04:00

17:27 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint,
and a man of understanding is even-tempered.

Speaking of using words with restraint...

Pondering Proverb 16

2009-03-16T22:22:00.003-04:00

3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed.

I was just thinking about this verse today. I think the important thing to realize is that when we are truly surrendered, obedient and trusting the Lord - we are ultimately living out His perfect plan, not ours. I'm guessing that's why it will succeed. Just a hunch.

28 A perverse man stirs up dissension,
and a gossip separates close friends.

It's so true. I'm still thinking about gossip. I'm praying that God's people would realize that gossip is from the pit of hell. Stealing, killing, destroying, dividing and conquering? I know that calling card when I see it.

And on a lighter note...

31 Gray hair is a crown of splendor;
it is attained by a righteous life.

This is why I don't dye my hair... I'm not trying to cover up my splendor! Okay - there are 10 reasons I don't dye my hair, and that isn't one of them. I think it's ironic that it's verse 31. I'm 31 and that's too darn young to be fretting about dying your hair. Well, I'm not fretting - but a few others are doing it for me. Not my hubby, though. He calls me a silver fox!

Oh - one last thing. Beth Moore has been reading my mail. Isn't that illegal?

Oopsie...

2009-03-16T06:17:00.003-04:00

I forgot to Ponder yesterday. I didn't even read Proverbs 15. Since starting this challenge, I've been reading my Proverb of the Day on Biblegateway, so as not to be influenced by all the writing I do in my Bible.

I'm happy to report that I didn't spend much time on the internet yesterday, and that is my excuse. My apologies.

My favorite verse from chapter 15, which incidentally, may be in the running for longest running sticky note on my mirror award...

15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

And oh, don't I know it.

What I did read yesterday, was Romans 2 and 3. I came across a link to a section from Romans 3 that made me stop in my tracks last night while reading, and now this very early morning, the Lord has brought me back to it again.

Romans 3:21-26 (New International Version)

Righteousness Through Faith

21But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 22This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. 25God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement,[a] through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— 26he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.

What struck me last night was the fact that I knew 23 by heart, but I didn't know 24. I appreciate the Romans Road to salvation as much as the next guy, but I have a small problem with it. It kind of leaves you stranded on the side of the road, happy to be going to Heaven when you die, but with no idea what to do with yourself until then.

I digress.

My point is - verse 23 is the bad news. Why didn't someone tell me to memorize and share the next verse? The freeing, life giving, as always JESUS SAVES THE DAY rest of the sentence.

sigh.

I may have a small root of bitterness lodged somewhere toward my early "church upbringing".

Grace grace grace.

Grace.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-14T22:52:00.002-04:00

Proverbs 14

16 A wise man fears the LORD and shuns evil,
but a fool is hotheaded and reckless.

23 All hard work brings a profit,
but mere talk leads only to poverty.

I. Love. This.

26 He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress,
and for his children it will be a refuge.

30 A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-13T22:34:00.002-04:00

10 Pride only breeds quarrels,
but wisdom is found in those who take advice.

12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

14 The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life,
turning a man from the snares of death.

18 He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame,
but whoever heeds correction is honored.

24 He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Some of my favorites from Proverbs 13.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-12T08:48:00.003-04:00

4 A wife of noble character is her husband's crown,
but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

18 Reckless words pierce like a sword,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

26 A righteous man is cautious in friendship,
but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-11T22:34:00.001-04:00

2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace,
but with humility comes wisdom.

3 The integrity of the upright guides them,
but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.

25 A generous man will prosper;
he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-10T21:45:00.003-04:00

9 The man of integrity walks securely,
but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.

12 Hatred stirs up dissension,
but love covers over all wrongs.

19 When words are many, sin is not absent,
but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Love 19. Love it!

Proverbs 3 update...

This is a little harder than I thought it was going to be. I'll will keep you updated on my progress. Not to toot my own horn, but to stay accountable. I already know I will be tempted to give up.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-09T20:42:00.001-04:00

Proverbs 9:9

Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still;
teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-08T23:02:00.000-04:00

Proverb 8:7
for wisdom is more precious than rubies,
and nothing you desire can compare with her.

Praying for wisdom.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-07T21:26:00.003-05:00

Wow. This everyday blogging commitment is hard. I can't imagine cooking in the crock pot everyday and then blogging about it everyday too. No thanks!

But back to Proverbs. Alright already with the adultery. Sheesh.

I guess I have to go with 1-3

My son, keep my words
and store up my commands within you.
2 Keep my commands and you will live;
guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.
3 Bind them on your fingers;
write them on the tablet of your heart.

I love verse 3. I've seen this or something similar in many different passages of scripture. The point?

Remember.

Remember this wisdom when it really matters. Do what you've got to do to remember it. Even if you have to tie a ribbon on your finger or tattoo it on your person.

Remember.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-06T19:53:00.002-05:00

It's been a long day... I wish I'd had an opportunity to sleep, slumber or fold my hands...

Not so much with my grouchy baby.

Proverbs 6
10 A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest-

11 and poverty will come on you like a bandit
and scarcity like an armed man.

Sorry dear friends, that's all I have for you today.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-05T21:19:00.002-05:00

Proverb 5:11-14

11 At the end of your life you will groan,
when your flesh and body are spent.

12 You will say, "How I hated discipline!
How my heart spurned correction!

13 I would not obey my teachers
or listen to my instructors.

14 I have come to the brink of utter ruin
in the midst of the whole assembly."

I know this entire proverb is talking about adultery, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about my students, every time I read it.

Have I ever mentioned that I used to be a 7th grade teacher at an inner city school? Many of my darling children spurned corrected and would not obey or listen to any of us...

I hope some of them figure it out before it's too late.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-04T21:30:00.002-05:00

Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.

" The heart should be guarded for out of it (a wellspring) come one's actions (cf. Luke 6:45). Here the word "heart" means more than mental capacity; it also encompasses one's values (cf Matt. 6:21)."

~The Bible Knowledge Commentary

For more excellent insight on this verse and what it truly means to guard (nasar) your heart (leb), click here.

Jessica had time to do the word studies, whereas I, with my sick baby and sick self, did not. I don't know her, but found her and her most excellent post, when I googled this verse. Isn't the internet grand?

Holy 3rd Proverb, Batman!

2009-03-03T18:08:00.005-05:00

Well - I'm sure glad I got to this earlier than later. I couldn't choose just one if Jack Bauer felt inclined to make me.

I'm pretty sure this is my all time favorite Proverb, and I'm also pretty sure I could park it here for the rest of the month and still not have it all down. I think I'll memorize the whole chapter. Hopefully, by the end of the month. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

So...

I love verse 3.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.

Oh, how I would love to live in this for more than 15 minutes. Love. I get it. I Corinthians 13 makes it pretty clear. Without Love... Ya got nuthin'. Or something like that... ;) So why do I snap at my husband, judge my neighbor and kick the dog on a daily basis? Just kidding, of course... I'm more of a once a week dog kicker... Ha! Sorry - cracking myself up over here...

Moving on.

5 and 6 are classics... I dare you to show me a christian cupboard that doesn't have a mug with these verses on it in it. Right? Yours doesn't? Mine either, but you get my point.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

I'll resist the urge to repeat a bunch of stuff I said in this post.

I love this next section. 13-18

Blessed is the man who finds wisdom,
the man who gains understanding,

14 for she is more profitable than silver
and yields better returns than gold.

15 She is more precious than rubies;
nothing you desire can compare with her.

16 Long life is in her right hand;
in her left hand are riches and honor.

17 Her ways are pleasant ways,
and all her paths are peace.

18 She is a tree of life to those who embrace her;
those who lay hold of her will be blessed.

She and her are referring back to wisdom (and maybe knowledge). Makes you want to get some of that, right? All her paths are peace? Come on, now! I'm there.

One more and then it will be class dismissed.... 21-24

My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment,
do not let them out of your sight;

22 they will be life for you,
an ornament to grace your neck.

23 Then you will go on your way in safety,
and your foot will not stumble;

24 when you lie down, you will not be afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

Do you see what I mean about this one? Wowza!

Here's a recap:

love

faithfulness

wisdom

understanding

sound judgement

discernment

Quite a to do list.

Speaking of, this bad boy has 35 verses. I may need more than a month.

Class dismissed.

Proverb to Ponder

2009-03-02T21:25:00.002-05:00

Proverbs 2:6

For the LORD gives wisdom,
and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

I love this one. I don't know about you, but I dig some wisdom, knowledge and understanding.

Wow - I'd love to expand on that, but I'm tired. I have a date with Beth Moore and Jesus, before I can go to bed - so you provide the commentary...

Night night!

Proverb a Day Challenge - Day 1

2009-03-01T20:52:00.004-05:00

I hope some of you have decided to join me this month! One Proverb a day for 31 days. You can do it!

Proverb to Ponder

Proverbs 1:7
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools [a] despise wisdom and discipline.

I don't know about ya'll, but I'm not trying to be no fool.

I'm just sayin'...

Proverb to Ponder

2009-02-28T20:35:00.005-05:00

Proverbs 28:23

He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor
than he who has a flattering tongue.

I have come to understand and respect the value of a rebuke from a close friend. I talked a little about it here. I used to really hesitate to return the favor, especially for one friend in particular. I would always start by saying "I didn't want to tell you this, but..." She came to dread those words. One day she brought the above verse to my attention. In time, I began to see the value in speaking truth into the lives of people who value it.

Please note - this is not some thing to be taken lightly. I don't recommend assuming that some one is interested in your opinion. Proverbs also speaks about wise men loving to be rebuked. I think it's important to have a conversation and a mutual understanding about these matters.

One of my favorite pastors once made a really good point about holding non-believers to our standards. He talked about Paul's writings and the fact that he was writing to the church. Fellow believers who had willingly entered into an accountability relationship. He made the point that Love is not rude, and when we point out sin where our opinion wasn't requested? That's rude. I have to agree. Such a simple way to look at, yet so very true. I think the tendency to do the opposite is what has earned so many Christians the reputation of being judgmental. Wouldn't you agree? I think holding a mirror up to anyone who didn't invite you to do so is most likely not going to be well received. Something to think about...

Tomorrow is March 1st! Who is with me for the Proverb a Day Challenge? Just read 1 chapter of Proverbs each day!

Today's Proverb

2009-02-27T23:02:00.002-05:00

Okay - it was bugging me that I was talking about a Proverb that didn't come from the same day's reading. Now I will be caught up and referencing a Proverb that comes from the chapter that corresponds to the date.

Sorry, I'm neurotic like that....

Proverbs 27:2

Let another praise you and not your own mouth; someone else and not your own lips.

It really bugs me when people toot their own horn. Well, I should clarify. It bugs me when people do something that they feel led to do, and say that they did it for God's glory, but then they tooted their own horn about having done it. I have these tendencies, of course, so that's why I notice it when others do it. Ugh. I wrote in my Bible next to this verse "credit". Wanting credit when we deserve no credit. Our righteousness is as filthy rags.

I often say after a delicious meal or dessert that I've prepared, "Not to toot my own horn, but toot toot." This is so not what I'm talking about, but I bet I'll still feel like a jerk when I say it from now on.... ;)

Gossip

2009-02-27T20:06:00.003-05:00

Some days this Proverb to Ponder will be harder than others. Picking just one, that is...

I think I'll go with 26:22

The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to man's inmost points.

I've been pondering gossip for awhile. A few months ago I started thinking about it a lot, and discussing it with a good friend. I have some thoughts, but would love to have your input.

What constitutes gossip? I don't think it's as simple as "talking about other people". My friend got married. I talk about it. My other friend has a sick baby, and I talk about that too. I don't consider either of these gossiping.

So far, I think the biggest elements are motive and content. Why are you sharing what you are sharing? I'm sure we've all experienced that feeling of really wanting to share information that isn't ours to share. The whole choice morsels business... Maybe whatever we want to share isn't scandalous and maybe it's totally appropriate to share. But what is the motive? Do we come from a place of pride, judgement or trying to make ourselves feel better?

What do you think constitutes gossip? How do you guard your heart and mind against this? I once heard someone talk about their policy where gossip was concerned. I love it and have adopted it as my own.

1. I will not gossip.
2. I will not be gossiped to.
3. I hope to not be gossiped about.

I'd love your input! Do share!!

Proverb to Ponder

2009-02-26T09:48:00.003-05:00

If you missed my last post, you might want to read it.

Today's Proverb to Ponder is Proverbs 25:28

Like a city whose walls are broken down
is a man who lacks self-control.

Every time I read this verse I think the same thing. I found it fitting that I read it last night, after making my Lent choice.

I always think this. A broken down city wall is a problem, right? Especially if you lived in the days of King Solomon. When your city wall is broken down, there is no control of what comes in and what goes out. How true when we let our self-control slide.

Incoming. Too much facebook. Not enough Jesus. Outgoing. Too much negativity. Not enough gratitude, praise and encouragement.

So reading it last night just helped to set my resolve. I will do something different. I'm back on my regimen. A Proverb a day. 5 Psalms a day. I'm also committing to at least one day of my Beth Moore Study To Live is Christ. If it isn't finished in the 40 days, it will be very close.

So friends, I'd love for you to do a couple of things.

1. Leave a comment if you read regularly. I'd love to know who I'm accountable to.
2. Let me know if you'd like to start the Proverb a Day challenge. March is a great month to kick it off. There's one chapter for every day of the month.
3. If you decide to do #2, we can ponder together. I would love that. Add your thoughts in comments, and if enough people climb on board, maybe I can see about inviting Mr. Linky to the party.

Things will be different.... At least for 40 days.

2009-02-26T09:34:00.002-05:00

I gave up facebook for Lent.

It was hard. That's why I knew it was the right choice. Don't get me wrong. I love connecting with old friends from school and jobs I had approximately 100 years ago. I always have and always will love people and find myself attached permanently to anyone who I ever had the pleasure of being with on a daily basis.

But there is someone who I've been neglecting. And I ain't having it no mo'.

For the past two months, our sleep has been a little squirrely, and therefore my schedule/routine has been greatly effected. I used to spend Chloe's first two hour nap with the Lord, but now that can't be counted on to happen. Or sometimes, due to the rough night/lack of sleep - I need to go back to bed.

Here's the rub. I ALWAYS find time for facebook. And as true as my second paragraph is, namely the last sentence, I was WASTING a lot of precious time. I need to sit at Jesus feet every day. I need to focus 100% of my attention on my daughter laughing and playing for a time each day. There will be plenty of time for facebook when she's a teenager and won't have anything to do with me.

So - I've decided to implement a little bloggy accountability. Every day - I will be posting about something that struck me in my Tryst. It might be the meaty posts you have come to expect here, or it may be as simple as a Proverb to Ponder. But I am vowing, at the very least - for the next 40 days, to get back to The Trysting Place, daily. My hope is that after 40 days, it will be a habit that will be very hard to break.

Redemption

2009-02-18T10:46:00.003-05:00

I just finished reading a book that I've been wanting to read for a long time. The Shack. Based on what I found when I googled it,(after reading it - I hate to have anything ruined for me when reading a book) it sounds like it's a little controversial. I love me some controversy...

Not really, but I do find myself immersed in this debate. Not because I want to be, but seemingly because it's right where God wants me.

I'll let you in on a little secret. I'm wrestling with Scripture where predestination and freewill are concerned. I feel like both are biblical and somehow they live together in perfect harmony, but I haven't quite been able to hum the tune myself. Several pastors that I respect come in on opposite sides of the ring on this one, and that leaves me a little baffled.

The thought of "being taken captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy," (Col 2:8) makes me nervous. I also want to "avoid foolish controversies and arguments and quarrels about the law." (Titus 3:9) *Scriptures are the Rachel version, adapted from the NIV...*

Ultimately, I want to know the true heart and mind of God and not just some traditional belief system that has been passed down through generation after generation of broken, busted up people. Know what I mean?

So, back to The Shack. This novel paints a beautiful picture of the God I believe to be real. Yes - it is a fictional book, and this version of "God" comes from a human perspective. Flawed? Most likely - unless this human we speak of is Jesus. Possibly right on? I'd like to hope so.

One of my favorite parts of the book is when "God" (I use quotes because that is not the actual name of the character in the book, and it is after all a fictional book...) is talking about forgiveness and redemption.

"Forgiveness is not about forgetting, it's about letting go of another person's throat." Isn't that good? Love it.

When asked "don't you forget our sins?" Here is how "God" answers:

"I am God. I forget nothing. I know everything. So forgetting for me is the choice to limit myself. Son, because of Jesus, there is now no law demanding that I bring your sins back to mind. They are gone when it comes to you and me, and they run no interference in our relationship."

Redemption. Paying our tab, so we don't have to worry about. The cost of sin is death. Death is separation from God. That's the last thing that God wants, so He picks up our tab. He wants, longs for relationship with us. He knows that we aren't capable of it on our own, so He makes a way. What the Law was powerless to do, God did. Period.

I've often thought about redemption and what it really means. I've thought about how millions of Americans would love to see a certain terrorist strung up to pay for his sins against us, against humanity. But what does God want? Redemption. Some people are beyond redemption, you might say. To which I would say, False.

Case in point. Join me in Acts chapter 7. Let's pick it up at the very end where Stephen is being stoned.

Starting with verse 57.
57At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, 58dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul.

59While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." 60Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep.
Chapter 8
And Saul was there, giving approval to his death.
On that day a great persecution broke out against the church at Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria. 2Godly men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him. 3But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off men and women and put them in prison.

Then in chapter 9

1Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord's disciples. He went to the high priest 2and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem.

Not exactly the guy you would expect to write the majority of the books of the New Testament, right?

Redemption.

Paul's redemption story begins in the very next verse. If you've never read the book of Acts, (which I hadn't until last year. I have no idea why...) shut your computer off and immediately find your Bible and read it. If you haven't read it in a long time, do the same. If you wonder what they Church or we as Christ followers are supposed to look like... Read it. Seriously.

In the meantime, take Matthew 6:27-28 to heart. You just might have the opportunity to be part of some one's redemption story.

Matthew 6:27-28
"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Rock your Spouses World For Valentine's Day

2009-02-11T00:31:00.003-05:00

I mentioned that my husband and I read The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, right? Well, let me just tell you... Applying the concepts of this book HAS WORKED FOR US!

I'm currently working on a device to assist me in kicking myself for not reading this book four or five years ago when I actually bought it. If I had known then, what I know now...

If you're husband is like mine, he may not jump at the chance to read a book you recommend. I was a little worried about putting myself out there. Again. I'll be honest, I was a little desperate. I was formulating my back up plan if he didn't cooperate. I'm REALLY glad he did. I had no good ideas for a back up plan... If this is you - be very careful how you approach it with hubby. Delivery is everything.

When I told my husband that I had read the book and felt like it could really help us with issues we've been dealing with for the entire 10 years (almost) we've been married, I was as serious as a heart attack. When I told him that one of the couples used as an example in the book described us PERFECTLY and it revolutionized their marriage, I think I got his attention. I told him that I believed that if we were willing to implement the concepts in the book, that we would likely see an immediate difference. I had no idea how right I was.

Let me also just say that we have made a concerted effort to communicate well no matter how hard or unnatural it may be at times, and we truly have a wonderful marriage. We were not, however, speaking each others primary love language. We were doing what all people do - we were communicating love to each other in our own primary love language. That's what you do unless you know better.

So, I challenge you. If you don't know with absolute certainty what your spouse's (or children or friend's)primary love language is, you should really find out. Don't guess, don't assume. If you haven't read the book, read it! You won't regret it. You can also take a quick quiz here.

What better way to bless your spouse for Valentine's day? Love them in the language that they can understand best. Help them to understand how to do the same for you! Make it a Valentine's day you'll never forget. I know ours will be one for the record books!

For more great tips, visit Rocks in My Dryer.

Quality Time...

2009-02-08T11:08:00.003-05:00

...is my primary love language. Closely followed by Words of Affirmation. If you spend time with me while telling me how great I am, I will likely follow you home and be your loyal friend forever.

Seriously, though.

I read The Five Love Languages last week and it confirmed a ton of stuff that I intuitively knew to be true, corrected some things I was confused about and overall, knocked my socks off. Frank and I have been on a pretty steady course over the past 5 - 7 years, but being of the imperfect human variety, we do have our moments. I can see this book making those fewer and farther in between. He's reading it now. Be still my beating heart.

I always thought that receiving gifts was my primary love language. FALSE. Learning that QT is my true primary love language has made sense of a lot of stuff I've been thinking about and dealing with over the past year or two.

You see, your love language isn't reserved for your spouse alone. Friends and family have the ability to fill your love tank, when they CHOOSE to love you in the correct love language. Since many people (especially in my circle of friends and family) have no knowledge of such things, it's no wonder I've been on fumes the majority of my life.

When it comes to love, I'm evidently multi-lingual. Good thing, or I may have died of starvation a long time ago. As I read the book, I realized that I really am able to receive love in all forms, and even tend to speak it in most forms. I had a hard time deciding which was primary as I read through the five chapters outlining each of the languages. Quality time, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. As I read in depth about each, I found myself feeling like I could argue my point for just about all of them. I took the quiz at the end, and it was hands down QT. The highest score you could get is a 12 and I had an 11. Words came in at 8 and it was basically a three way tie with low numbers for the other three.

So now I understand why it's so sad to me when seasons of life no longer permit for those all day hang out sessions. Why it's so hard to reach out to new friends, knowing there isn't enough QT to go around for the old ones. I tend to be one of those people who goes deep with anyone that I call friend, and that takes some serious time. Time that people my age, including myself, do not have. I feel like time spent together that can't be quality is a waste. I hate going to the movies with someone who I don't have much time with, because I'd rather sit face to face and talk for our two precious hours. I pretty much hate talking on the phone, these days. It's not quality.

I look forward to being more intentional, now that I'm armed with knowledge that I can't pretend I don't know. If you haven't read the book. Do it. If you have, do it again. You won't be sorry.

Real Friendship

2009-02-06T12:24:00.003-05:00

I was reading in Proverbs 27 the other day. On the 27th, actually... Some of the best verses on friendship can be found there.

Verse 5

Better is open rebuke, than hidden love.

If you've never had a friend that you could say ANYTHING to, in LOVE with GENTLENESS. You should give it a try. There is nothing like it. The only thing better is knowing that the same person will say anything to you, and with the same love and gentleness.

Verse 9

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.

Perfume and incense only give me a headache, but the rest I agree with wholeheartedly.

Verse 17

As iron sharpens iron, so one man (or in this case woman) sharpens another.

Feathers don't sharpen feathers. Sometimes it's hard. This means it might hurt, but the result is worth it.

Friends like these are few and far between. If you find one, don't let her go. Sometimes, you won't have a choice, but when you do - don't let her go.

My heart is broken...

2009-02-02T06:35:00.001-05:00

for people I don't know.

I'm so thankful for God's grace and goodness and for the fact that the families for whom my heart breaks know Him.

Please join me in praying for these families...

The family of Tuesday, as they mourn the loss of their beautiful daughter.
http://www.half12.blogspot.com/

This family. Read the urgent prayer request.
http://www.mabebabe.blogspot.com/

Pray for baby Trey. Born much too early, but God is bigger.

http://prayingfortrey.blogspot.com/

Reading Your Bible Every Day and Scripture Memorization

2009-01-27T06:38:00.005-05:00

I went through a phase where I was having a very deep, conversational one or two hour quiet time most days. It was fantastic, and I hope it comes back around soon. With sickness and the Holiday and trying to dig myself out of a hole, it just doesn't seem to be in the cards on a regular basis, right now. I'm nothing if not honest, especially on this blog where my spiritual journey is the topic du jour. Every jour.

I'm serious about reading my Bible. Even if it's only the Proverb of the day, which for me is the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds to the day of the month. I read the Proverb of the day, and usually one or more other chapters of the Bible. This really doesn't take very long. So, even when I don't have time to take a large junk of time in the late morning or early afternoon to essentially have a date with Jesus, to read and journal and talk to Him, I read my Bible at night, right before I go to bed. I'm a stickler for this, even if it's Midnight and I'm exhausted, I make time to get in the Word.

I used to feel guilty about only reserving my last moments of the day for the Lord. We know where guilt comes from, right? Not God. I say I used to feel guilty. I don't anymore.

When I would do my quiet times during the day, I would often go days without making the time for various reasons. When I would get back to it, I would go to read, say - Proverbs 13 and realize I hadn't read 11 or 12. (I find the Proverb a day system useful in so many ways!) Well, that was pretty convicting in itself, so I decided to get back to my nightly devotions. It works for me...

Around this same time, I started memorizing Psalm 139, something I've wanted to do and felt led to do for a long time, thanks to this challenge. I'm happy to report that I have memorized it and I could not be more excited. I never thought I would be able to do it. That's why I never bothered to even try. I would open it up, look at the 24 verses, and say - yeah.... maybe not.

Not this time. I didn't even follow Angie's timeline... It easily took me 2 or 3 times as long as she suggested. I got hung up on a few verses, and I spent more time some nights than I did others. BUT I DID IT! Finally. Quiz me if you see me. :)

So, every night, I crawl in bed. I grab my Bible, which I sleep with. Yes. In my bed. I'm weird like that. Before I open it, I recite the verse or verses that I'm currently memorizing. When I'm done, I check myself. Then I read the Proverb of the day. Then I read a chapter or more of whatever other books I'm currently reading. For example, I just finished James, and II Samuel. I usually ask the Lord if there is anything else He would have me read that night. Sometimes I sense He wants me to, sometimes I don't. If anything pops into my head when I ask, I read it. If it was me, who cares. I don't want to miss out on something if it was Him.

Scripture Memorization

While I was working on Psalm 139, I would just meditate on one verse at a time. I find it helpful to find a rhythm and sort of make a song of each verse, or section. Some do not lend themselves to it, and it slows me down. After doing my other reading, I would come back to Psalm 139, and get that "song" in my head and repeat it over and over and over until I fell asleep. It has really worked for me!

I'd love to hear your tips for Scripture Memorization. I'm very motivated now that I have accomplished a goal that I've had for so long.

For other helpful tips, visit Works for me Wednesday at Rocks in my Dryer.

Gentleness

2009-01-15T21:26:00.004-05:00

I've been working on gentleness for about 5 years now. I spent the first 5 years of my marriage (and the first 25 years of my life, really) being a big fat B. Which, of course, stands for brat. ahem. I've spent the past 5 years (yes, that makes me 30. ish.) trying to change, or should I say - trying to submit to God changing me and my not so gentle ways.

It's coming along nicely. Not quickly, but nicely.

Probably the most effective thing I've done to remedy this issue, is posting relevant scriptures where I will see them often. Right now, I have Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." in my bathroom. I had to go to Bible Gateway to get the reference, but I know that puppy by heart. It has been really helpful. Incidentally, it's in the Proverb of the day that I will be reading before bed. How about that?

I also have Ephesians 4:29 posted on my mirror. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. " This is obviously more about what comes out of your mouth than how it comes out, but I especially love the part about benefiting those who listen. Not that I have the opportunity to talk to people very often... But still. When I do, I want what I say to be beneficial to them.

Philippians 4:5 "Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near."

The Fruit of the Spirit is... among others, gentleness. Our Pastor said something really cool a couple of weeks ago. Well, honestly he says something cool every time I hear him speak, but a couple weeks ago, it was about the Fruit of the Spirit. He said "The fruit is not for the tree. It's for the person that walks past the tree." I love it when people say profoundly simple things that are so applicable. When I think of that in terms of gentleness, and interacting with people, (especially my husband) it brings a new urgency to my quest for gentleness.

2 Timothy 2:25 says, "those who oppose him, he must gently instruct." Try that one on for size. Not only does the person disagree with you - they are coming against you... How are you (or should I say How am I) to respond? With gentleness.

As hard as it is for me to be gentle with my husband, at times... You know the times, when you are so torqued out of shape that no matter how hard you try you can't get the tone/pitch of your voice to sound like anything this side of a 7 year old girl who just got stung by a bee? Ah, my husband loves that. Actually, not. And can I just say, if I were allergic to bees I'd go broke buying epi-pens, for how often my voice sounds like that. Is it okay to say that he sometimes has it coming? Yeah, I didn't think so. Okay, then I won't say that. ahem. Right - so my point is, it's hard enough to be gentle with the people whom we love the most (who no doubt have the talent for riling us up the best), but we are also commanded to be gentle to all and to those who oppose us.

He doesn't ask much, does He?

And this, dear friends, is why I take very seriously the following advice.

James 1:19 Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

Do you write in your Bible?

2009-01-09T08:43:00.006-05:00

I do. A lot.

I've been wondering what other people think.

I'd say writing in my Bible is another one of the things that really allowed me to draw closer to God. I think about the Bible as Life's Little Instruction Book. I don't know about you, but I take that pretty seriously. When I see something important, or super relevant to what I need to be working on - I mark it. Circle it. Highlight it. Underline it. Don't tell anyone, but I even wrote DUDE! next to a verse one time. I should go get it and see which one.

hmmm... I can't find where I wrote DUDE! but I found lots of places with question marks, a WOO -HOO!, an OUCH, lots of these *, a WOW, a LOVE IT!, another ouch...

I found it. Now I don't know if I want to share...

Okay.

I'll share.

Proverbs 25:24 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Yeah... I must have been a treat to live with when I came across that. Why else would I have written DUDE!?

Have I mentioned that I'm a work in progress?

There are also multiple places where I reference another scripture to look at, cultural information about when and to whom it was written that brings light to a passage, information given in a sermon that made me do that, mmmm.... noise.

In the New Testament, I have more pages with marks on them than not. The Psalms are full of my chicken scratch. I read a Proverb every day and the first few times through, I underlined something almost every day.

I don't write in my Bible because I can't find scrap paper. I carry a journal every where I carry my Bible. I write in it because I want it and everything I learn about it to TRANSFORM my life. I write in it because there is so much good stuff in there, that I want to reference on a daily basis, and I can't remember where all of it is. I know when I was in the ICU waiting room, I used pencil to underline and write all over the book of Psalm. I know that my first year teaching I used a pink marker to underline a lot of stuff. Even if I don't remember when or why or in what color I underlined something, I know that what I'm looking for is underlined in red or has a blue asterisk next to it. I know, because I've read it over and over and over.

It has helped me to hide God's Word in my heart. It has helped me help others in their time of need. It has helped me to remember. It has helped me.

Do you write in your Bible?

Worship

2009-01-05T07:14:00.005-05:00

Let me start by saying that I believe that worship is a way of life. I'm still working on making it my way of life... The word 'worship' seems to be most commonly associated with music and singing songs of worship, and that's what I'm talking about today.

My weekend was hijacked by a twenty pound terrorist. Okay, not really. Chloe was sick. I suppose she had a touch of the flu. Not a major case, though when she had a flare up - it wasn't pretty, and she didn't like it one bit. Poor little punkin. So, my much anticipated trip to Indy, to see two beautiful people vow to love each other forever, in Jesus name? Yeah - that was off. I can't believe I didn't cry. I wanted to cry. I wanted to wail like a 5 year old who couldn't get a candy bar at the check out. But I didn't.

Instead, I put my sweats on and slept when Chloe slept, which turned out to be quite a bit. I was able to get caught up and that felt really good. I went to church by myself on Sunday, and on the way - I was listening to a worship playlist that I made quite a while back. I didn't even realize it until that morning, but I really really miss driving to work and worshipping loud and long and probably a little off key. I had always had at least an hour in the car every day, some times two. Granted, I did spend some of that time putting my guardian angel to the test, yapping on the phone - but on my way to work - I always spent that time with the Lord. And I miss it.

I was primed and ready and had already shed a tear or two when I got to church Sunday morning. Now, I know worship is for God and not for me, but evidently no one told Pastor Ben that, because it seemed to be all for me. ;) In all seriousness though, I feel like I was able to worship in a way that I haven't in a really really really long time. I'm thankful that things have been a little icky lately. I actually love getting to that point where I literally break during worship. There is something about the Land that is Plentiful that just doesn't produce a need to empty myself before the Lord. Maybe that's backward thinking, but it's just the way it is with me.

We've been in a new church for about six months, and before that it was probably close to a year since we had been attending Kensington regularly. As much as I LOVE our new church, the biggest part of me still longs for home. I miss Danny. I miss Steve Andrews. I just miss Kensington. I don't really know why. Maybe just because I am the original creature of habit? Who knows. Anyway - my point is - things are very different at the new place and I guess I've been slow to really sink in, get comfortable and let go. Well, if I'm being honest, I never really "let go" at Kensington, either.

I suppose I need to back the bus up a bit. I know where this all started. In a pew. In an old school, triple Baptist - stand perfectly still and sing from your hymnal, while wearing only a DRESS, church. Yes. I went to that church. Neat, huh? So the first time that I walked into Kensington, and they were playing Highway to the Danger Zone from Top Gun? Yeah, that was a little weird. But I loved Tom Cruise (at least I did before he flipped his lid) so I went with it. The first time I went to a worship service and saw people raising their hands? Yeah - I thought they were on crack. I mean seriously, where are the hymnals? Maybe that's the only reason we didn't raise our hands at my church... Because we had our hands full...

Obviously, it has been a long road and a very slow process getting to a point where I can worship with total abandon. In fact, such a slow process that I still haven't reached that point. I want to - and I suppose I'm getting there. Sunday, I moved another quarter of an inch toward the goal. Instead of lowering my head and going into the ugly cry, once the tears started flowing, I looked up -or at least kept my head up - and sang even louder through the sobbing. It must have been a sight. I'm very sorry Mr. Guy-Who-Made-The-Mistake-Of-Sitting-In-Front-Of-Me.

The goal? To become "even more undignified than this." I'm on it.

The Potter and the Clay

2009-01-01T11:43:00.004-05:00

I have lots of thoughts. I hope I can coherently string them together to form a meaningful blogpost. I guess we'll see...

LOSING THINGS

I've been losing things a lot lately. It's really getting on my nerves. In the past two years, I've lost a few *major* things, that have absolutely boggled my mind. If I could have the energy back that I've spent agonizing over these things, I could probably run a marathon. Or birth another baby. I've seriously scratched my head a lot over these ones.

The first thing is this super cute Bible. I had it when I taught at Northwestern, and now I don't. I must have left it there. I hope Mr. Whoever taught in room 217 after me either got saved or at least found sanity when he needed it most with that Bible. Hopefully he wasn't too uber manly. If so, he probably refused to read my pink and green SUPER CUTE Bible. sigh. It wasn't my main Bible, it was one of my spares that I left at school, in the event I forgot my main Bible. I wouldn't last 15 minutes in that place without my Sword of the Spirit. Seriously.

The second thing was my copy of Waking the Dead by John Eldredge. It is a fantastic book on spiritual warfare, and I underlined half of the book when reading it both times. I wanted to read it again, and couldn't find it. I have racked my brain, turned this place upside down more than once and have gotten real angry on many occasions. I finally bought it again. I'm still bitter, though. I want MY copy. Where is it????? ugh. Maybe it's with my Bible? I really don't think so, but for all I know - it could be in the Library of Congress. All I know is, it ain't here. sigh.

The next item was actually found, which gives me hope. But it still warrants mentioning, as it was gone a long time and I spent A LOT of time searching for it. The power cord to my breast pump. Can you say Muy Importante? That's spanish for Do Not Lose. The coolest thing is that it was in the bag that houses the pump the whole time. How I searched inside that bag 10 times and never found it, I'll never understand, but again. Hope.

I also lost my bite guard. You know, the 300$ piece of plastic that you sleep in to protect the 300$ crown that you had replaced, so you don't grind it out of your head, AGAIN? Yeah - that one. Anyone seen it? Triple GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. This is a stumper. I don't understand where on this Earth that thing could be. What I do know is - we are likely to be out another 300$ one way or the other and that just frosts my fanny. UGH!

Now. Are you ready? The granddaddy of them all. I may start crying uncontrollably, again. I seem to have lost my..... Wedding Ring. ::deepest of deep sighs:: I've looked high. I've looked low. I've looked everywhere. Although, Frank says I can't have looked everywhere, because I haven't looked where it actually is. Cute, right? I'm just glad he isn't mad at me. I don't need that right now. I don't know where it is, and I am absolutely DEVASTATED. I'm not one of those ladies who wants a new ring every 10 years. It's our 10th Anniversary this summer, so if I were that girl (not that there's anything at all wrong with that girl) then I'd be set. But I'm not. My ring is insured, since we got married young and spent way way too much on a wedding ring, because at that time in my life - that was important to me. I could get it replaced right now, if I wanted "a new ring". But I don't. I want my ring. I want the ring that was at my wedding. Not a new, bigger better different one, not a new replica. I don't know what to do, and I'm still praying that I find it. I'm scared to ask God about it, for fear of Him telling me it's gone. I'm not ready to know that, yet. So, I will be digging through the trash. And probably crying some more.

What I do know is there is always a lesson. I know First John 2:15 says, Do not love the world or anything in the world. I know that Matthew 6:19-21 says, Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I was thinking about these verses the other night. I was thinking about being a work in progress. I was thinking how I've come a really really long way, and how I have a really really really long way to go. I was thinking about the Potter and the clay.

Isaiah 64:8 O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.

Romans 9:21 Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?

Think about Pottery 1o1, which I've not taken, but humor me. I'm guessing you don't make a masterpiece on your first try, right? Think ashtrays. I feel like, in the Potter's hand, I'm an ashtray. He wants to fashion me into something much more beautiful and much much more useful. I don't mean to imply that God is a novice at pottery. I know the analogy doesn't quite work, but frankly, it was a bit of a revelation - so I guess, take it up with the Potter. ;) As the clay, I have to be willing to be molded. It's my fault that I'm still only an ashtray. My purpose is not a noble one, but it could be. If I'm willing to be molded and if I can stand the heat in the kiln. It's not pleasant, but what I know for sure is - I desire to be a beautiful vase, used to display God's glory and beauty to any and all who pass by. For that, I will endure the fire of God's refining.

One of the lovely ways God convicts me...

2008-12-29T06:58:00.002-05:00

Prepare yourself. Truth, coming at ya. ::Sigh::

I've had an ever building revelation over the past year or so. It's not pretty and I wouldn't mind if Will Smith came with his little flashy thing from Men in Black and erased it.

I've noticed that things that irritate me about other people, I do. It started out with my mom. I actually knew that one a long time ago. The whole, too much alike, that's why we get on each other's nerves and why it is a physical impossibility for us to live in the same dwelling.

Over the past year or so, I've noticed that it really irritates me when people ramble on about nothing. hmmm... Yeah, I tend to do that. It irritates me when people are harsh. Yeah... Probably because of copyright infringement. I WROTE THE BOOK ON HARSH. ::deep breath, followed by very slow exhale.....:: These are just a couple of the *cute* examples.

Transformation is a slow process.

This whole business starts with pride. I used to be in an AMAZING small group Bible study. A group of women that studied and wrestled with Scripture, poured their heart and souls out to each other and prayed for and with each other. It was beautiful. I bring that up to say, there were times when we'd be sharing prayer requests, and I couldn't think of anything that I needed prayer for that day. Nothing major that God wanted to change in me, I had it all together, pretty impressed with myself. I was one of those people who, when I heard a sermon, I'd think: Wow, what a shame that so and so isn't here to hear this. Pride, much? Yep. Ugh.

See? I force God's hand ALL THE TIME! Oh really, He says? Can't see it? I'll help you. You're so good at seeing other people's short comings... As He reaches into His bag of tricks and extracts His handy dandy scalpel of self-righteous bull. ::another deep deep sigh::

So that's where I've been for awhile. Observing ugliness in other people, realizing I have the same ugly ugly tendencies, and then begging God to change my heart. It's working, but it's a very very slow process.

People are so incredibly messy. It's a lot easier to just hide and avoid them. If there was a place I could hide from myself, I'd be at the post office right now, changing my address.

Instead, I'm embracing Nathan. Remember the prophet from 2 Samuel 12? He tells King David a little story about a man who stole and killed a little ewe lamb. King David burns with anger and then Nathan says, YOU are the man! And not in the modern day way that means, you're super cool... In the way that means, uh - hello? You stole a man's wife and then killed him so you wouldn't be found out, and you're fired up about a guy who steals a lamb and kills it? Doofus!

I'm not sure if God deals with you in the same way He deals with me, but if He does... Be aware of the messy people in your life. They may be God's way of holding up a mirror and saying - You are the man...

Christmas vs. Giftmas

2008-12-22T23:55:00.000-05:00

Our pastor said something about Christmas being hikacked. I love it. So so true. We can't afford to participate in giftmas this year, so we are left with Christmas. And I love it. Don't be fooled, if we could be we would be, but I'm thankful that we can't. This is the first year that I haven't run around like all kinds of maniac spending way too much money and way too time little reflecting on what the season is really about. Today, I am honestly praising God for our circumstances. I can't think of another way He could have brought this revelation to me more clearly.

I'm overwhelmed with the gospel this year. I've never thought about Easter so much in December. I'm humbled that my Savior came for me. ::Deep sigh:: I don't even know how to articulate what I'm thinking and feeling...

I've been listening to a lot of Christmas music this year. My absolute favorite is the Selah Rose of Bethlehem CD. I love the lyrics of the song Mystery.

A child was born on Christmas Day
Born to save the world
But long before the world began
He knew His death was sure
The pain and strife secured
Mystery, how He came To be a man
But greater still
How His death was in His plan
God predestined that His Son would die
And He still created man
Oh, what love is this
That His death was in His hands

The Christmas trees
They glow so bright
With presents all around
But Christmas brought A tree of life
With blood that sacrificed
The greatest gift in life
I am just a man and
Can?t begin to comprehend
When You look into this traitor?s eyes
What do You see that justifies the Lamb
God predestined that His Son would die
And He still created man
Oh, what love is this
That His death was in His plan
Mystery, mystery

This CD is amazing. I highly recommend it.

Shane and Shane also have a Christmas CD out this year. It is also fantastic.

Born to Die - Shane Barnard

When the babe was born.
In a manger on the hay.
God saw a veil torn.
He saw Good Friday.
He was born to die.
Gold laid before the Christ.
Incense, His presence is sweet.
Myrrh to signify victory over death's sting.
He was born to die.It came in a dream.

To Joseph late one night.
That Herod sought the King.
But could not take His life.
He was born to die.
He said, "You won't take my life.
You won't take my life.
You won't take my life...I lay it down."
We came here today
to celebrate His birth.
But let us not forget
why Jesus came to earth.
He was born to die.

Merry Christmas, my dear friends.

Fruit

2008-12-03T23:14:00.000-05:00

Fruit, fruit everywhere I turn! It seems God is trying to show me something...

Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. Matthew 3:8 This verse keeps coming up, along with many others that reference fruit.

Let's break it down, word by word, using my trusty friend dictionary.com.

Produce

1. to bring into existence; give rise to; cause: to produce steam.
2. to bring into existence by intellectual or creative ability: to produce a great painting.
3. to make or manufacture: to produce automobiles for export.
4. to bring forth; give birth to; bear: to produce a litter of puppies.
5. to provide, furnish, or supply; yield: a mine producing silver.

Fruit

1. any product of plant growth useful to humans or animals.
3. the edible part of a plant developed from a flower, with any accessory tissues, as the peach, mulberry, or banana.
5. anything produced or accruing; product, result, or effect; return or profit: the fruits of one's labors.

in keeping with something (from the free dictionary)

1. because of something. There will be no flowers at the funeral, in keeping with the family's wishes.
2. suited to something. The new windows are in keeping with the colonial style of the house.

Repentance

1. deep sorrow, compunction, or contrition for a past sin, wrongdoing, or the like.
2. regret for any past action.

So - bring into existence a product, result or effect that goes along with your deep sorrow and regret for past sin.

That stuff that you used to do, (Ahem, that I used to do - lest I forget that God is speaking to me, and you are just innocent bystanders...) not only quit doing it, but be grieved that you (I) used to do it, and do it no more. AND what you do do (yes, I meant to say do do), make sure it reflects your sorrow over what you (I) used to do. Make sure people see you have been transformed, and not because you raised your hand, repeated after someone, and have since tried to be a better person. No, because you entered into a binding, eternal and covenantal relationship with the creator of the universe and He is making you a new creature in Christ Jesus.

In other words, if we are truly repentant, our present and future actions will not look like our old ones. And not because we are suddenly "better" people, but because we have invited God to live in us and have welcomed His transforming power into our lives. The whole new creation business...

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Further, if our fruit doesn't look like love, we cannot be claiming to be producing it in Jesus' name. If we are looking to get credit for what we are doing, or doing it in hopes of getting something in return? Nope. Try again. Be ever mindful that our righteousness is as dirty rags to God. Isaiah 64:6 All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

Philippians 3:9 not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

Oh yes, the law! One of my favorite things to rant about!

Romans 10:4 Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.

Galatians 2:21I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"

Look out for the pharisees. They are alive and well. You know who I'm talking about. Those people, I like to call them professional pretenders, who appear to be perfect. The key is appearances. It's all about convincing everyone around them that they have it all together and know all the answers. There is a Shane and Shane song that I love that says, "what the law could not do, God did." If we had the power within ourselves to get it right, to be "better", holy, righteous, than Jesus died for nothing.

We mustn't set aside the grace of God. It's by His grace we can do anything. Apart from Him we can do nothing. Apart from Him we are nothing. John 15:5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

There it is. More fruit. With out a living, breathing, active relationship with the Vine, we got nothing. We can do nothing. We are nothing.

Ask, Seek, Knock...

2008-11-14T10:44:00.000-05:00

We've all heard it hundreds of times. "Ask and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you..." Matthew 7:7 This is one I find hard not to quote in the King Jimmy... ;)

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, (Matt Chandler at the Village Church in the DFW area of Texas) and he was preaching on this passage. He said something so obvious, but only in the way that is noticeable after you've heard it... Then you're like - yep - that's pretty obvious, why didn't I think of it?

We've all got the "ask" part down to a science, right? I mean usually the only thing that's missing is sitting on Santa's lap... I want this, and do this, and bring this to pass, and fix that, and heal this, and stop that, and bring this and provide that, and solve this and get me out of that and on and on it goes.

But what about "seek"? I once heard something else really fantastic while visiting a church with a friend in Chicago. The pastor said, when you seek God, you are guaranteed guidance. When you seek for guidance alone, you may or may not get it. I don't know about you, but I want what God wants. I tried it my way for a lot of years, and it didn't turn out all that red hot... I desire to seek God. Seek His face, seek His heart, seek His will for my life. If God was about just giving us what we want? What a short change! As if we can POSSIBLE know what is best for ourselves... I've often thought of it this way. God is on the mountain and He can see the terrain that lies ahead. We might be in a valley, on level ground or even on a hill, we may even think we can see what lies ahead. But God KNOWS the plans He has for us. Sometimes when He leads us to a certain path or through some sort of struggle, it makes absolutely NO sense at the time. He says, turn. We're like, but but but? It's the wrong way, Lord. Again, He is on the mountain top and knows it's a short cut, even though we can't see how that could possibly be. Or, He knows it's the long way around the maze so we don't get lost and stuck and wander in the wilderness for forty years. Whatever His reasons, His way is the best way, whether we can see that or not. So - if we keep doing what we want, what seems right to us, we are missing the boat. We have got to give God the reigns. Let Him steer. He knows the way. He made the way. His IS the way...

Knock. I sort of had a revelation about the knock part. I think it's about pursuit. We've probably also heard "Behold, I stand at the door and Knock." Revelation 3:19-20 Those words are in red, which tells us - Jesus is standing at the door. Waiting for us to invite Him in. But what would happen if we made it a daily habit of knocking on His door. Hey Jesus, got a second? PS - the answer is always yes....

Do you see what I mean about the obviousness? Ask, seek and knock. Not just ask. Asking is easy. We have to do our part, we will find Him when we seek Him with all of our hearts. It's a tall order... I'm working on it... I'm definitely not there yet. It's a process, and not a fast one. It's not boring either. God always keep you guessing. I love sitting down with Him and just waiting for Him to blow my mind. It's a hobby of His and I love it!

Surrender

2008-11-07T15:28:00.000-05:00

Another huge piece in hearing God's voice is surrender. God's ultimate goal in our lives is to be on the throne.... and He don't share. If ANYTHING else is perched up there, He can't be.

I've noticed that when we hold on to anything too tightly, it separates us from God. It clouds our judgment, it deadens our ability to hear and it certainly impacts our ability to trust what we do hear. When we are ready to truly surrender our lives, agendas and expectations, God says "What's in your hand?" And trust me there is always something in our hand. In my case, and I'm sure I'm not alone here, not only is there something in my hand, but my hand is CLENCHED around it and the thing is covered in super glue. Anyone?

The finger prying process is not a pleasant one.

The other thing I've noticed, not only in my own scenarios, but in many of those of the people closest to me, it's RARELY about the actual thing. Right? It's so much more about the grip we have on the thing. The throne that the thing is on, whether we knew it or not, or put it there intentionally or not. Kind of like when you lose something and joke that it must have grew legs and walked away, except in this case - the thing sprouted legs and strutted itself up onto the throne when you weren't looking. One day you just realize and you're like -what?? How did that get there? ugh.

I digress. Finger prying.

It goes something like this....

Something comes up. I sense it's bigger than what I realize and over time, God begins to show me that we have a problem. Usually someone else says - I think this might be a problem. To which I usually respond in an utterly clueless fashion, quickly followed by self-defense. Then when God confirms it, I'm like, uh-oh. I think you might be right. Then I start to deconstruct it, then I get more confirmation. I'm usually 1)Horrified and disgusted by this ridiculous blind spot, that you would THINK I would start craning my neck around to check occasionally. 2)Totally frustrated by the enemy's unending pursuit. 3)Determined to make it right.

Commence finger prying.

It could be a thing, a situation, an idea or even a relationship. Ultimately, it's anything that we hold onto so tightly. Why do I hold on to it? Or as a good friend always asks me - "What does it give you?" When I realize that it gives me my worth, value and security - I want it out of my hand as much as God does. The sneaky sneaky thing the enemy does, is dupes us into believing that anything other than God determines our worth.

I feel like I'm spider webbing something fierce. Try to stay with me and I'll try to get to the point...

I said earlier, it's rarely about the thing. Time and time again, I've found when I just surrender the thing, God usually lets me keep it. Hardly ever does He set it on fire and through it out the window. It's always about my heart, and His refusal to allow me to settle for a golden statue of whatever.

This was my most recent revelation. It's idolatry. When the thing is more important to me than what God wants to teach me, it's idolatry. When the circumstances are more important to me than the joy that is available to me in plenty and in want, that's idolatry. When I think I have it all figured out, or that it's even up to me to figure it out. Idolatry. When the thought of losing the thing strikes fear in my heart, I have a serious problem with idolatry.

God says, things are fine. But when they are your hope and your security, that is an entirely different issue and one that has to be handled immediately.

He is always after our ultimate good and His ultimate glory. ANYTHING that threatens those, is going down.

When faced with the choice of surrender or idolatry, it's really a no brainer. The important thing to remember, is you can't see your blind spot unless you make a conscious effort to turn and twist around and look over your shoulder. If that was easy, it wouldn't be an issue. Do the hard thing. Be vigilant. Most importantly, be listening. He longs to show us and help us. I can guarantee you if Abraham had decided to take Isaac and hide in a cave, the story would have had a different ending. What will you lay on the alter today?

Confirmation

2008-10-28T10:51:00.000-04:00

I think one of the coolest things about Walking with God is when He confirms and reconfirms that you are, in fact, hearing His voice. Had it not been for some very key confirmations, I probably would have given up on even trying to hear Him, again.

It was such an internal struggle for me. Wanting to hear Him so badly, but not being able to discern what was and what was NOT His voice...

I'm one of those unlucky souls who is a product of legalism... You know, try real hard to do everything right, look perfect, try harder, what is wrong with you, why aren't you perfect yet, legalism. Throw in a few other less than perfect circumstances in life and the result is a whole heckuva lot of condemnation, guilt, shame and all around not good enough syndrome. Did I mention guilt? This, of course, fosters a view of God that is not exactly who He actually is. Again, you know the one, ready to smite you at the drop of hat, cannot be pleased no matter how hard you try, wishing you could be like so and so, ready to give up on you if you don't get it figured out, and overall just mad at you more often than not.

Getting back to my point. I want to hear God, but it's taken me about 5 years to figure out God is nothing like what I just described. Okay, so now I have figured out that God is, in fact, crazy in love with me, despite the fact that He knows I will never get it right on my own. This is someone I'm willing to chat with. But how?

Anyone that knows me, knows I can talk like the Lions can suck. I mean, I. Can. Talk. This isn't the problem. I'm also a very good listener, when I get enough sense to hush for a hot second. So why can't I hear God? The ROAR of the voices in my head... Oh, make it stop! Now - let me clarify. I won't even try to convince you that I'm NOT crazy, because I'm completely convinced that I am. However, that's not what I mean by voices in my head. It's almost like second grade again. The teacher asks a question and at least 5 kids are stretching their arms out of the sockets - Pickmepickmepickme!!!!!! Only in my head, the little brats don't wait to be called on, they just shout out the answers. Guilt is always the loudest. Shame usually has something to say... Are you following me or have I completely lost you? I ask God a simple question. Should I? I assume that whatever answer I want to hear isn't God. On some sick level, it may be that I still can't shake my old idea of God, so deep down I may still be thinking - why on earth would God want to give me what I want, right? Even if I know it's possible that God could give me my hearts desire, (hello - that's in the Bible!) I still really hesitate to hear a voice in my own head telling me the answer I like to a question that I asked and say - GOD SAID! I mean really, be careful with that one, right? But if I hear the other answer, the one I don't want to hear, what I think God would say, then isn't that just me still?

So you can see how it would just be easier to throw in the towel. Which is what I did, about the first five hundred times I tried it.

One day, I decided I would step out in faith. What a concept, right? So I decided, I would go with what I truly thought God was saying. I thought, hey - as long as he's not telling me to jump off a bridge or kick my dog, what's the worst that could happen? So I started giving it a try. I also decided that I would write down my conversations. I discovered something very cool...

It turns out, though I might interrupt other people, at times, I don't seem to be able to interrupt myself. At least, not when I'm talking to God and writing it down. As I'm writing out my own thoughts, if something sort of "breaks through", I've found it's usually God speaking. I started going with it. "Is there anything else, Lord?" And there was. "Where should I read, Lord?" James. "James?" James took me to someplace in Corinthians, because at the top of James, in my Bible, I'd written Corinthians something or other. I go there. More of the same. It's all speaking into what I'm struggling with. Paul is bringing it. Yes, this is definitely God. I couldn't make this up if I tried.

One day I was reading in Proverbs. Every day that I sit down intentionally with the Lord, I read the corresponding Proverb. Ever notice there are 31 Proverbs? Some months it works out perfectly, others - you read an extra or two the last day. It's awesome. Anyway, it must have been the 3rd of this month, because I was reading in Proverbs 3. Verse 5 says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. It really spoke to me that day, even though I'd heard it approximately one million times before. I thought Wow. In ALL your ways. Not in some of your ways, or when you feel like it, or when you're laying down to sleep at night or when you stub your toe or run out of gas. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. It was a pretty big deal. That was Friday. On Sunday, the former Pastor of our church came up and "brought a word" (this happening in church is a little new to me, which is the only reason I put quotes around it.) He said that God woke him up in the middle of the night and said he needed to share this in church the next day. Any guesses? Proverbs 3:5. Confirmation.

So. Here I am. On this journey. And it makes more sense than it used to. I have a lot more work to do, but I took a tiny step of faith and God has been lighting a little more of the path for me each time I trust Him and move forward. I love it. God told me some other BIG DEAL stuff and I thought, Well, this is great - but I don't know what my husband is going to say. My husband said - yep, God told me the same thing. What a relief.

So. When the voices in my head are so loud, I just say shut up. When I hear God's still small voice I say, "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening."

Walking with God

2008-10-23T08:51:00.000-04:00

I am currently rereading Walking with God, by John Eldredge. He is definitely one of my favorite authors. He is the author of Waking the Dead, which I love, and Wild at Heart, which I've been unable to get into - since it is written for men. He also coauthored the book Captivating with his wife Stasi. What an amazing book. Obviously, I highly recommend John Eldredge. This is not a complete list of his books, just the ones that I own.

Walking with God has been instrumental in my journey to hear God and trust His voice. I've struggled for awhile with hearing Him. I really didn't even know I should be listening for Him until about 5 years ago. The first time I heard my new friend say, "God told me such and such," - I have to admit, I had my doubts. The more I got to know this friend, and others like her, the more I realized, Hmmm.... She doesn't seem to be crazy... and she definitely seems to believe that God does in fact talk to her. Interesting... So, I decided to give it a try. I would occasionally pause to hear God or specifically ask Him a question. There were even times when I thought it might be working. But by and large, I doubted. When I could quiet the roar of voices in my head down to one, I had no idea who it was that was still standing. Is that me? Is that God? Is that my guilt and shame (and essentially the enemy) that is so at work in my mind, due to all the license I had given to condemnation over the years? What if it's not God I'm not about to start doing things, claiming God told me ANYTHING, unless I can know for certain that it IS indeed Him that is speaking. I got discouraged. I basically gave up. Every single time that I went to Him, I had the identical argument with me, myself and I, as well as anyone else that had made it into my head... It was frustrating and annoying, so I eventually gave it up. If I didn't read it in black and white somewhere between Genesis and Revelation or hear it directly from the trusted mouth of someone who I knew loved God and could be used for His purpose in my life, I wasn't trusting that God had anything to do with it.

Enter Walking with God. You know how once you know something you can't not know it? Yeah. It's like that. As John says, "We have two options. We can trudge through on our own, doing our best to figure it all out. Or, we can walk with God. As in, learn to hear His voice. Really. We can live life with God. He offers to speak to us and guide us. Every day. It's an incredible offer. To accept that offer is to enter into an adventure filled with joy and risk, transformation and breakthrough. And more clarity than we ever thought possible."

Well, ain't that the truth? Any clarity is more clarity than I thought possible.

So, I opted to go for it. Give it a try. Transformation? Breakthrough? Joy? Yes, please. Risk? Well, if it's a package deal, then I guess I'll take a side order or risk, too.

And so it began. My trysts with the Lord. My morning meeting, so to speak. We sit. We chat. I write it all down, because - I've had a baby and my memory seems to have permanently malfunctioned. Sad to admit, but I even forget what God Himself tells me. So I write it down. Because here's the thing: You don't desire to hear him, and then fight through figuring it out to then forget it. No - it must be taken seriously. And hearing God with out obedience? Well, now that would be worse than not hearing Him at all.

Thanks for reading, friends. Don't forget to meet with Him.

My new blog...

2008-10-20T14:37:00.000-04:00

I've been following a lot of blogs these days. I suppose it's my latest obsession. I used to faithfully post on my xanga site. Okay, well - not faithfully, but I used to post. Now it has become Chloe's photo album. Keeping friends - near and far - up to speed on her latest antics... I decided I wanted my own space.

So here it is... My own space. My hope is to share my journey with the Lord. The lessons He's teaching me, what we share when we meet, how He's molding and shaping me to be more and more like Him.

Within the last few months, I've been trying to make my quiet times absolute priority. It's difficult for various reasons... For one - when life is easy, I don't run to my daddy's lap. These days, even when life isn't easy, the laundry, dishes and vacuuming (all my favorite never ending chores....) still need to be done. I've decided, it's time to get serious. Serious about meeting with Him. Reading His word. Talking to Him. Most importantly, Listening to Him. That is a skill, dear friends. I'm excited to be honing it. It's coming along nicely.

So, this brings me to the title of my blog. This word tryst came up about three different times. In a book, on a shirt, and I can't remember the other thing. I finally decided God was trying to tell me something. I looked it up on dictionary.com and immediately knew - this is what I will be calling my quiet times. This is my favorite definition: an appointment to meet at a certain time and place, especially one made somewhat secretly by lovers.

So, there you have it. Welcome to my space. My space where I will be reflecting and sharing what the Lord and I are doing in our daily tryst.